Hi,
This is Part 8 of our Coaching is about Discovery Series.
In Part 6, we had discussed that one of the key causes of blindspots formation is false assumption, which are the unrealistic beliefs about ourselves and about the world.
Our assumptions affect how we form meaning when we come across anything outside or inside our mind. Our assumptions narrow our perception by selecting those data which match our beliefs. For example, if we believe X is important, X stands out in our perception no matter Y and Z are also out there.
Our assumptions also affect how we make meaning of the narrowed perceptions. If we believe X is same as Y, then what we percieved is Y even though it should be X in front of us.
A coach's major task is to uncover as many assumptions about the situation we are facing as possible. When we are not clear about our assumptions, it is our assumptions choosing meanings for us, instead of we choose to assign meanings to what we perceive. Then we are forced to accept the only choice presented to us. We have no choice!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Keith To's Ideas & Thoughts on NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Personal and Business Development. These seem to be nothing related. But from a Systemic Thinking perspective, they share similar nature and processes. 陶兆輝對身心語言程序學、催眠治療學、教練學、輔引學、個人發展及商業發展的純個人看法；它們看似毫不相關，但當你從合整式思維角度來看，它們卻擁有相近的性質及過程；我將每隔數天不斷加入新的文章, 內容絕不敢認為是肯定正確, 旨在拋磚引玉而矣。 (All articles copyrighted by Keith To)
Showing posts with label Coaching is about Discovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coaching is about Discovery. Show all posts
2010/06/29
2009/09/06
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 7 - Possibilities & Truth
Hi,
This is Part 7 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
We only consider what we think is a truth in our mind. If something we think which is not true, we simply ignore it. This is another important source of blindspots - something which are out of our current awareness.
But how about if the "truth" is not really true, or if there are some other "truths" out there?
Coaching is about expanding clients' scope of awareness by inviting them to consider more possibilities, something which might possibly, but not absolutely being a truth. All until when they classify something being possible, they will not include it into their thinking, and in turn into the discussion with the coach.
It is our job to explain to our clients the difference between possibilities and truths. Everything is possible doesn't imply everything is true. There are various degree of truthness and it is not an either/or situation.
We challenge clients not by pushing them into higher goals or expectation. We challenge their toleration of possibilities by asking "why not?" and the possibilities of other possibilities.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
This is Part 7 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
We only consider what we think is a truth in our mind. If something we think which is not true, we simply ignore it. This is another important source of blindspots - something which are out of our current awareness.
But how about if the "truth" is not really true, or if there are some other "truths" out there?
Coaching is about expanding clients' scope of awareness by inviting them to consider more possibilities, something which might possibly, but not absolutely being a truth. All until when they classify something being possible, they will not include it into their thinking, and in turn into the discussion with the coach.
It is our job to explain to our clients the difference between possibilities and truths. Everything is possible doesn't imply everything is true. There are various degree of truthness and it is not an either/or situation.
We challenge clients not by pushing them into higher goals or expectation. We challenge their toleration of possibilities by asking "why not?" and the possibilities of other possibilities.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
2009/06/28
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 6 - Blindspots Formation Mechanisms
Hi,
This is Part 6 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
In this article, we are going to discuss various mechanisms of our mental blindspots formation.
Blindspots are the ideas/thoughts/perceptions which situated out of our current awareness. They are not just anything that we do not know. They are what we do not know we do not know. This double-unawareness paralyzes our urge to search for extra information.
What causes these Double-Unawareness? There are 5 major causes.
1. Reacting instead of Responding. When we are reacting to the situation, we are not using the most sophisticated part of our brain, the neo-cortex, which is responsible for our rational thinking. We react from the more primitive reptilian brain and the limbus brain. We are reacting to our fear, anger and other emotions. We are not rational at all!
2. Missing Information. There are so much information out there. We cannot process all the information. If the world is as slow as in the far past, we can absorb and handle them bit by bit. However, we do not have such luxury in today's super-fast paced, ever-changing world. The missed information becomes our blindspots.
3. False Assumptions. What helps us deciding taking in what information and discarding the others? Our assumptions (or our Filters in NLP)! Assumption and knowledge refers to the same thing. The only difference is the former is not matching the Reality while the latter one is. Both are assisting us to make faster decisions while the former causes us problems and the latter leads us to solutions.
4. The Bigger World. Everything is inter-related. There is no such thing as "individual case". People, scenarios and things are affecting each others. It is difficult to see the Bigger Picture and it is even impossible to see the Whole Picture. Everything outside our current perceived picture is our blindspots!
5. The World is Changing. No matter the speed is slow in the past or fast in today, the world is changing! We are always just in one single point in time. It is too easy to forget or to miss in all other points in the past. It is even more impossible to consider accurately the future. These are the blindspots in the 4th dimension.
A coach's job is to encourage awareness of clients' blindspots. The more they can perceive and consider, the better will be their decisions.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
P.S. You can find more of my ideas on blindspots from my new book, 盲點心理學 (co-authored with John Lau, in Chinese)
This is Part 6 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
In this article, we are going to discuss various mechanisms of our mental blindspots formation.
Blindspots are the ideas/thoughts/perceptions which situated out of our current awareness. They are not just anything that we do not know. They are what we do not know we do not know. This double-unawareness paralyzes our urge to search for extra information.
What causes these Double-Unawareness? There are 5 major causes.
1. Reacting instead of Responding. When we are reacting to the situation, we are not using the most sophisticated part of our brain, the neo-cortex, which is responsible for our rational thinking. We react from the more primitive reptilian brain and the limbus brain. We are reacting to our fear, anger and other emotions. We are not rational at all!
2. Missing Information. There are so much information out there. We cannot process all the information. If the world is as slow as in the far past, we can absorb and handle them bit by bit. However, we do not have such luxury in today's super-fast paced, ever-changing world. The missed information becomes our blindspots.
3. False Assumptions. What helps us deciding taking in what information and discarding the others? Our assumptions (or our Filters in NLP)! Assumption and knowledge refers to the same thing. The only difference is the former is not matching the Reality while the latter one is. Both are assisting us to make faster decisions while the former causes us problems and the latter leads us to solutions.
4. The Bigger World. Everything is inter-related. There is no such thing as "individual case". People, scenarios and things are affecting each others. It is difficult to see the Bigger Picture and it is even impossible to see the Whole Picture. Everything outside our current perceived picture is our blindspots!
5. The World is Changing. No matter the speed is slow in the past or fast in today, the world is changing! We are always just in one single point in time. It is too easy to forget or to miss in all other points in the past. It is even more impossible to consider accurately the future. These are the blindspots in the 4th dimension.
A coach's job is to encourage awareness of clients' blindspots. The more they can perceive and consider, the better will be their decisions.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
P.S. You can find more of my ideas on blindspots from my new book, 盲點心理學 (co-authored with John Lau, in Chinese)
2008/08/21
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 5 - Steps in Discovering
Hi,
This is Part 5 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
In this article, we are going to describe a stage-by-stage model of coaching.
Everything needs a starting point. Where do we start to coach?
Clients seek coaching when they are facing a problem or difficult situation and they want to solve it. This creates 3 different approaches.
Firstly, some people go straight ahead to coach for solution. But if the client can have the solution so easily, he/she do not need to be coached! One can't know his/her future when the past and present is not known.
Some coaches do understand that every problem has a cause(s). If the client is aware of the causes of his/her problem, he/she can attack on the causes and the problem doesn't exist any more. So, coaching on causes can be a better alternative. This is true when the client is already clear about his problem. You can't know the cause of something when you don't know what that something really is!
Here comes the 3rd approach, coaching on situations. We start with the present situations or problems. Then we go to the past causes, and finally the future goal and solutions.
In each stage, we search and verify our assumptions and possibilities. Understanding our situations is the result of exploring our past, present and future through verifying our assumptions and searching for possibilities!
Now we learned how our blindspots are formed and how we can discover them. To make discovery more effective, the knowledge of blindspots formation mechanism is essential. I will talk about it in Part 6 of the series.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
This is Part 5 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
In this article, we are going to describe a stage-by-stage model of coaching.
Everything needs a starting point. Where do we start to coach?
Clients seek coaching when they are facing a problem or difficult situation and they want to solve it. This creates 3 different approaches.
Firstly, some people go straight ahead to coach for solution. But if the client can have the solution so easily, he/she do not need to be coached! One can't know his/her future when the past and present is not known.
Some coaches do understand that every problem has a cause(s). If the client is aware of the causes of his/her problem, he/she can attack on the causes and the problem doesn't exist any more. So, coaching on causes can be a better alternative. This is true when the client is already clear about his problem. You can't know the cause of something when you don't know what that something really is!
Here comes the 3rd approach, coaching on situations. We start with the present situations or problems. Then we go to the past causes, and finally the future goal and solutions.
In each stage, we search and verify our assumptions and possibilities. Understanding our situations is the result of exploring our past, present and future through verifying our assumptions and searching for possibilities!
Now we learned how our blindspots are formed and how we can discover them. To make discovery more effective, the knowledge of blindspots formation mechanism is essential. I will talk about it in Part 6 of the series.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 4 - Discovering Blindspots
Hi,
This is Part 4 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
How can we discover our blindspots?
By understanding our situations, verifying our assumptions and searching for possibilities!
They are not the 3 steps of coaching, but they are all done at the same time.
Your situation is not just your current situation. It is about how your current situation was created and how it will develop further. That is, your past, present and future. When this mechanism of your situation is well understood, solutions can be emerged automatically.
We always have assumptions about our past, present and future. Each assumption can mislead us to inappropriate conclusions. As a coach, we challenge any possible assumption.
Possibilities do not just include possible solutions. It can also be possible situations, possible causes, possible consequences, etc. We ask for possibilities whenever our clients decide he/she has no or limited choices of anything.
Since both assumptions and possibilities are everywhere when we try to understand our situations, we are doing all these 3 parts simultaneously.
But are there any procedure so that we can follow easily to coach? Yes. Let's me discuss it further in Part 5!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
This is Part 4 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
How can we discover our blindspots?
By understanding our situations, verifying our assumptions and searching for possibilities!
They are not the 3 steps of coaching, but they are all done at the same time.
Your situation is not just your current situation. It is about how your current situation was created and how it will develop further. That is, your past, present and future. When this mechanism of your situation is well understood, solutions can be emerged automatically.
We always have assumptions about our past, present and future. Each assumption can mislead us to inappropriate conclusions. As a coach, we challenge any possible assumption.
Possibilities do not just include possible solutions. It can also be possible situations, possible causes, possible consequences, etc. We ask for possibilities whenever our clients decide he/she has no or limited choices of anything.
Since both assumptions and possibilities are everywhere when we try to understand our situations, we are doing all these 3 parts simultaneously.
But are there any procedure so that we can follow easily to coach? Yes. Let's me discuss it further in Part 5!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
2008/05/05
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 3 - Blindspots
Hi,
This is Part 3 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
What makes a person can't develop? One does not know what he doesn't know?
What makes a person not knowing what he doesn't know? Blindspots!
There are 2 levels of knowing.
When you know something, it is your knowledge. But when you know you know that something, it is your wisdom. People are not wise because they do not know what he already know or don't know!
When you know what you don't know, it is your learning. You can then choose to learn it or not. When you learn something necessary, it leads to improvement. There is limit to improvement because when you had already learned everything you know you don't know, you stuck there. There is no further improvement!
You are reaching "you don't know what you don't know", you are incapable of knowing your incapability. You stuck! This is your blindspot.
What's you don't know limits you. As you do not know what's limiting you, you stuck in your development. Development is an advancement beyond the limitation. The first step is always knowing the limitation, i.e. knowing what you don't know, seeing your blindspots!
Why blindspots?
1. You do not understand your situations. So, you do not know what you don't know in such situation.
2. You are operating with assumptions. You assume something, but you consider your assumptions as facts, though they might now be.
3. You see/think what you get used to see/think. So, you do not see any other possibilities. These possibilities might be what you don't know, but you don't know about their existence.
How can we discover our blindspots?
By understanding our situations, verifying our assumptions and searching for possibilities!
Let's discuss them further in the coming Parts of our series.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
This is Part 3 of this Coaching is about Discovery Series.
What makes a person can't develop? One does not know what he doesn't know?
What makes a person not knowing what he doesn't know? Blindspots!
There are 2 levels of knowing.
When you know something, it is your knowledge. But when you know you know that something, it is your wisdom. People are not wise because they do not know what he already know or don't know!
When you know what you don't know, it is your learning. You can then choose to learn it or not. When you learn something necessary, it leads to improvement. There is limit to improvement because when you had already learned everything you know you don't know, you stuck there. There is no further improvement!
You are reaching "you don't know what you don't know", you are incapable of knowing your incapability. You stuck! This is your blindspot.
What's you don't know limits you. As you do not know what's limiting you, you stuck in your development. Development is an advancement beyond the limitation. The first step is always knowing the limitation, i.e. knowing what you don't know, seeing your blindspots!
Why blindspots?
1. You do not understand your situations. So, you do not know what you don't know in such situation.
2. You are operating with assumptions. You assume something, but you consider your assumptions as facts, though they might now be.
3. You see/think what you get used to see/think. So, you do not see any other possibilities. These possibilities might be what you don't know, but you don't know about their existence.
How can we discover our blindspots?
By understanding our situations, verifying our assumptions and searching for possibilities!
Let's discuss them further in the coming Parts of our series.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
2008/04/30
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 2 - Improvement & Development
Hi,
This is Part 2 of the series of Coaching is about Discovery. It is more than a year after I wrote the Part 1. I do think it is time for me to complete this might-be 10 Parts series now.
As mentioned in Part 1, effective coaching can result in either improvement or development. Then, what is improvement and what is development?
This is all about limitations!
Improvement is being better, faster, easier, cheaper but still under the previous limitation. Development is an advancement beyond the limitation. Another term for development can be a breakthrough. It is the rising above the ceiling.
Whenever one discovers something new about their situation, problem, objective, solution, etc, one improves. Until he/she discovers the governing limitations of his/her current situation, one cannot develop.
When someone is operating within his/her limitation, it is difficult to discover anything beyond it. A limitation limits not one's actions, but one's perceptions. A coach's role is to "take" him/her stepping outside to "see" more!
There is limit to improvement. When everything that can be explored within the limitation explored, one goes onto plateau. Mid-life crisis is a typical example of such. A coach can help his client to improve by helping him/her to see his/her situation. One improves when one see what he doesn't know.
There is no limit to development except limitation itself. The key to discovering limitation is to allow the client to see how he/she see his/her situation, that is seeing the "seeing". One develops when one see what he doesn't know what he doesn't know.
What makes a person not knowing what he doesn't know? Blindspots!
In Part 3, we will discuss how blindspots stop one from developing.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
This is Part 2 of the series of Coaching is about Discovery. It is more than a year after I wrote the Part 1. I do think it is time for me to complete this might-be 10 Parts series now.
As mentioned in Part 1, effective coaching can result in either improvement or development. Then, what is improvement and what is development?
This is all about limitations!
Improvement is being better, faster, easier, cheaper but still under the previous limitation. Development is an advancement beyond the limitation. Another term for development can be a breakthrough. It is the rising above the ceiling.
Whenever one discovers something new about their situation, problem, objective, solution, etc, one improves. Until he/she discovers the governing limitations of his/her current situation, one cannot develop.
When someone is operating within his/her limitation, it is difficult to discover anything beyond it. A limitation limits not one's actions, but one's perceptions. A coach's role is to "take" him/her stepping outside to "see" more!
There is limit to improvement. When everything that can be explored within the limitation explored, one goes onto plateau. Mid-life crisis is a typical example of such. A coach can help his client to improve by helping him/her to see his/her situation. One improves when one see what he doesn't know.
There is no limit to development except limitation itself. The key to discovering limitation is to allow the client to see how he/she see his/her situation, that is seeing the "seeing". One develops when one see what he doesn't know what he doesn't know.
What makes a person not knowing what he doesn't know? Blindspots!
In Part 3, we will discuss how blindspots stop one from developing.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
2007/03/15
Coaching: Coaching is about Discovery Part 1 - Discovering What?
Hi,
I am starting another articles series - Coaching is about Discovering. Although I am still working on another series (NLP is about Thinking), I just can't stop myself to start something new. (Might be I need some coaching?!)
This is Part 1 of the series. I am really not sure about when will Part 2 be available. It might be months later.
Back to 2001 when I start teaching Coaching, I told the participants that "Coaching" would become a buzz word in a few years' time (at that time, most of the people in business field of Hong Kong still haven't heard of the term). I also told them that with more people knowing about Coaching, there would be more and more misunderstandings. Both happened!
What is Coaching?
If you ask someone about Coaching, they will tell you different stories. Many people think that Coaching is like Training, Counselling, Persuading, Therapy, Advising, etc. If Coaching is about the above, then why gives her another name?!
No, Coaching is nothing about the above. It is something totally different. Coaching is about Discovery!
Coaching helps others by facilitating their discovery. The more they can discover, the higher their awareness.
But discovering what?
There are 3 levels of discovery.
1. Discovering about their Thinking about Themselves, their situations, their goals, their problems, their opportunities, their strength, their threats, their limitations, etc. These are what they think, their Perceptions!
2. Discovering about Themselves, their situations, their goals, their problems, their opportunities, their strength, their threats, their limitations, etc. These are what really are, the Reality!
3. Discovering what they don't know they don't know about Themselves. These are their Blindspots. The above 2 levels are something they don't know. When they know about it, they improve! But at this 3rd level, they are going to discover something they don't know they don't know! These are stuff that are totally out of their awareness. They just don't know their existence. When they know about it, they develop!
Is Coaching better?
No. Coaching is NOT more superior than all other helping skills. It is just different. Not everyone can be benefited from Coaching. Coaching is only for those who are willing to discover by themselves. Not every moment is suitable for Coaching. Coaching is appropriate only when time is available for a rather slow process of discovery.
Then why Coaching?
There is 2 distinctive advantages.
1. Acceptance. When people find out stuff by themselves, they are more readily to accept it. There needs no persuasion, which might be required in other forms of helping.
2. No Misleading. We do not direct or lead our clients when coaching. So, there is much less dangers of misleading others to wrong and unrealistic conclusions.
Coaching might result in Improvement and/or Development. Then, what is Improvement and Development? Let's discuss in Part 2 of the series.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
I am starting another articles series - Coaching is about Discovering. Although I am still working on another series (NLP is about Thinking), I just can't stop myself to start something new. (Might be I need some coaching?!)
This is Part 1 of the series. I am really not sure about when will Part 2 be available. It might be months later.
Back to 2001 when I start teaching Coaching, I told the participants that "Coaching" would become a buzz word in a few years' time (at that time, most of the people in business field of Hong Kong still haven't heard of the term). I also told them that with more people knowing about Coaching, there would be more and more misunderstandings. Both happened!
What is Coaching?
If you ask someone about Coaching, they will tell you different stories. Many people think that Coaching is like Training, Counselling, Persuading, Therapy, Advising, etc. If Coaching is about the above, then why gives her another name?!
No, Coaching is nothing about the above. It is something totally different. Coaching is about Discovery!
Coaching helps others by facilitating their discovery. The more they can discover, the higher their awareness.
But discovering what?
There are 3 levels of discovery.
1. Discovering about their Thinking about Themselves, their situations, their goals, their problems, their opportunities, their strength, their threats, their limitations, etc. These are what they think, their Perceptions!
2. Discovering about Themselves, their situations, their goals, their problems, their opportunities, their strength, their threats, their limitations, etc. These are what really are, the Reality!
3. Discovering what they don't know they don't know about Themselves. These are their Blindspots. The above 2 levels are something they don't know. When they know about it, they improve! But at this 3rd level, they are going to discover something they don't know they don't know! These are stuff that are totally out of their awareness. They just don't know their existence. When they know about it, they develop!
Is Coaching better?
No. Coaching is NOT more superior than all other helping skills. It is just different. Not everyone can be benefited from Coaching. Coaching is only for those who are willing to discover by themselves. Not every moment is suitable for Coaching. Coaching is appropriate only when time is available for a rather slow process of discovery.
Then why Coaching?
There is 2 distinctive advantages.
1. Acceptance. When people find out stuff by themselves, they are more readily to accept it. There needs no persuasion, which might be required in other forms of helping.
2. No Misleading. We do not direct or lead our clients when coaching. So, there is much less dangers of misleading others to wrong and unrealistic conclusions.
Coaching might result in Improvement and/or Development. Then, what is Improvement and Development? Let's discuss in Part 2 of the series.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
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