Hi,
I just read this poem from a magazine. I love it.
Gossip
My name is Gossip.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious
and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
My victims are helpless.
They cannot protect themselves against me
because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible.
The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it's never the same.
I topple governments and wreck marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights,
heartaches and indigestion.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.
I am called Gossip.
I make headlines and headaches.
Before you repeat a story, ask yourself:
Is it true? Is it harmless?
Is it necessary?
If it isn't, don't repeat it.
Anonymous
Here is my Chinese translation of the above:
說長道短
我的名字叫說長道短
我對公義毫不尊重
我傷害但不殺害
我令人傷心和摧毀生活
我是狡猾和滿懷惡意的
以及能夠隨著時間收集力量
越是我被引用，越是令人相信
我的受害者是無助的
他們不能保護自己免受我的傷害
因為我沒有名字和沒有臉
追捕到我是不可能的
你越嘗試，我變得越難以捉摸
我不是任何人的朋友
一旦我玷污一個人的名聲，它將無法修復
我推翻政府和殘害婚姻
我毀壞事業和令人失眠
心痛和胃痛
我令無辜的人在他們的枕頭中哭泣
雖然我的名聲敗壞
我被稱為說長道短
我仍然成為標題和困擾
在你重複一個事件以前，問問自己：
它是真的嗎？它是無害的嗎？
有必要去重複它嗎？
如果它不是，就不重複它
匿名
Keith
Keith To's Ideas & Thoughts on NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Personal and Business Development. These seem to be nothing related. But from a Systemic Thinking perspective, they share similar nature and processes. 陶兆輝對身心語言程序學、催眠治療學、教練學、輔引學、個人發展及商業發展的純個人看法；它們看似毫不相關，但當你從合整式思維角度來看，它們卻擁有相近的性質及過程；我將每隔數天不斷加入新的文章, 內容絕不敢認為是肯定正確, 旨在拋磚引玉而矣。 (All articles copyrighted by Keith To)
2005/12/31
My 2006 Prediction
Hi,
Every year I do the prediction for the year. I am not doing it by any metaphysical method. I watch trends. Some people like watching birds, fishes, boys or girls, I like watching trends.
It is very interesting to see the trends going up and down, in and out, slow and fast!
My overall prediction for 2006 in Hong Kong: Not as good as 2005, or even a bit worse!
As I had mentioned in my 2005 Prediction Seminar last year, 2005 is a good year for Hong Kong People. I had already warned at last year's seminar that 2006 is not going to be good, and I still think so.
If you like to know more about my predictions in 2006, come to the 2006 Prediction Seminar in Feb 27 2006. Details of registration will be announced soon through the Excel Your Life Newsletter.
Keith
Every year I do the prediction for the year. I am not doing it by any metaphysical method. I watch trends. Some people like watching birds, fishes, boys or girls, I like watching trends.
It is very interesting to see the trends going up and down, in and out, slow and fast!
My overall prediction for 2006 in Hong Kong: Not as good as 2005, or even a bit worse!
As I had mentioned in my 2005 Prediction Seminar last year, 2005 is a good year for Hong Kong People. I had already warned at last year's seminar that 2006 is not going to be good, and I still think so.
If you like to know more about my predictions in 2006, come to the 2006 Prediction Seminar in Feb 27 2006. Details of registration will be announced soon through the Excel Your Life Newsletter.
Keith
My Learning in 2005
Hi,
I started the "My Weekly Learning from Life Series" in this blog several months ago. I love doing this as I can consolidate my own learning.
If you ask me what was my greatest learning in the year of 2005, I will tell you this one:
If someone is angry with me, it is my own fault. But I won't blame myself for this. If what I had done is necessary, I will do it again in the future, even harder! If what I had done is unnecessary, I will do something different next time!
Please kindly accept my appology if I had upset you in the past.
Keith
I started the "My Weekly Learning from Life Series" in this blog several months ago. I love doing this as I can consolidate my own learning.
If you ask me what was my greatest learning in the year of 2005, I will tell you this one:
If someone is angry with me, it is my own fault. But I won't blame myself for this. If what I had done is necessary, I will do it again in the future, even harder! If what I had done is unnecessary, I will do something different next time!
Please kindly accept my appology if I had upset you in the past.
Keith
The First Thing I Did in 2006
Hi,
Do you know what was my first thing I did in 2006?
I got lost during my drive back home at 12:00am Jan 1 2006!
When I confirmed that I was really lost, I seeked help and ask for direction from a police officer immediately! He showed me the way and I got back home right away.
Lesson learned: Seek help when help is needed. Ask for it or you might get even worse or at least wasted your valuable time and effort.
Asking for help is not something bad!
Keith
Do you know what was my first thing I did in 2006?
I got lost during my drive back home at 12:00am Jan 1 2006!
When I confirmed that I was really lost, I seeked help and ask for direction from a police officer immediately! He showed me the way and I got back home right away.
Lesson learned: Seek help when help is needed. Ask for it or you might get even worse or at least wasted your valuable time and effort.
Asking for help is not something bad!
Keith
2005/12/22
Doing Too Much in order to Get the Effects
Hi,
Just watched a documentary in the TV about the late Pope, John Paul II.
Someone asked him whether he was travelling too much. (He was the most extensively travelled Pope in the history. He visited over 100 countries during his reign)
He agreed and added a remark: Sometimes we need to do too much to get the effects.
What a smart remark! Sometimes we need to do too much to get and see the effects of our efforts. But we give up just too soon!
Keith
Just watched a documentary in the TV about the late Pope, John Paul II.
Someone asked him whether he was travelling too much. (He was the most extensively travelled Pope in the history. He visited over 100 countries during his reign)
He agreed and added a remark: Sometimes we need to do too much to get the effects.
What a smart remark! Sometimes we need to do too much to get and see the effects of our efforts. But we give up just too soon!
Keith
2005/12/20
NLP: Systems Level in Logical Levels
Hi,
I talked about replacing "Spiritual" level with "Systems" level in the Logical Levels in last week's Strategy of Excellence Module of the NLP Practitioner Training.
Some understand it, and some don't.
This "System" stuff is not something easy to be understood. I intended to introduce this concept to the NLP Practitioner Training in 2006. So I had spent hours in discussing "Systemic" in the NLP Foundation Facilitation Program in the past few weeks. (This is a free program to all NLP Practitioner Trainees. If you missed the program this year, join us in 2006) Those who had attended the above program in the past few weeks can understand better this "Systems" Level concept.
This concept seems to be even more difficult for those who get used to linear thinking style (1-dimensional thinking). The concept of the first 5 levels in Logical Levels is quite "linear". For example, your behaviour affects your environment while your capability can affect your behaviours. But the highest level of Spirituality or Systems is not. This concept is more 2-dimensional.
What's in the first 5 levels is "something", like behaviour or a belief. But what's in the highest level of "Systems" is the "relationship" between you and something. It is not the "something" but the "relationship" that affects your Identity and the all those "something" in the lower levels.
The concept of the highest level of "Spiritual" in the original Logical Levels is our sense of something that goes beyond the image of ourselves. That means, your thought of something bigger than you. For easier understanding, it can be something more important than you. This over-simplicity can be misleading, and it misleads so many NLPers.
In the first 5 levels, the upper levels "generate" the levels below them. For example, a Belief of "Money = Freedom" can generate your Capability of "Earning Money". But how can something bigger or more important than yourself generate your perception of yourself (Identity)? For example, can "God' (someone/something bigger or more important than you) generate your Identity of a "Christian"? No. It is your perception of the "Relationship" between you and "God" (e.g. God is your Creator) generates your Identity.
Even more misleading when you think only something bigger or more important than yourself can affect/generate your Identity. You do not need to think that your spouse is more important/bigger than you in order to make you his/her wife/husband. This "Wife/Husband" Identity is based on your perceived relationship with him or her. If you consider that there is a relationship with you, the relationship then affects/generates your Identity. The relationship needs NOT to be bigger/more important than yourself; it still affects and generates your Identity. For example, if someone thinks that his wife is just like a domestic helper, the relationship with her is not "big" or "important", but he still sees himself as her "Master" (Identity).
There is nothing wrong with the original concept of "Spiritual" level as the original concept is "a larger system surrounding yourself = Spiritual". It is the name of the level (i.e. Spiritual) that misleads people. The originator, Robert Dilts is quite "New Age" so his interpretation of "Spiritual" might not match "Non New Ager's interpretation.
This misunderstanding limits the usefulness of this valuable model. Most of the NLPers can only use the model up to the first 5 levels. It is ridiculous to apply the "Spiritual" Level to business or religious organizations. Some NLPers use the term "Mission" instead of "Spiritual" in order to make it more acceptable. But this is again misleading. Mission should already be included in the "Identity" Level since your mission (or the organization's missions) make you (or the organization) who you are.
I use the term "Systems" to replace "Spiritual" because it implies that it is one's perceived relationships with something surrounding you. It can be a family system, organization system, human system or whatever systems.
Though this concept of "Systems" Level is more difficult but this concept is too important for all serious NLP Practitioners. This makes this 6th level more usable and this reflects better the original idea of Logical Levels. It is the relationship between you and something in a bigger system not something bigger that affects you.
We can be stuck in any levels in the Logical Levels. For example, when you stuck in the Capability Level, you are not aware of what capability or habit affecting you. You go a level up to the Belief/Value Level and you can "see" more clearly what's stuck in the Capability Level. For example, you have a belief of "People are Bad" so you get a Capability/Habit of suspecting everybody.
If you are stuck in the "Systems" Level, you can't see the relationships between you and other elements in the bigger system. These relationships still affect you seriously but you only see those elements being in the lowest level of Environment. That's why so many people think that it is the "Environment: controlling them, not they are controlling the Environment. If these elements are really just at the lowest level, you can easily affect them, instead of being the opposite.
But the "Systems" Level is already the highest level, how can we go even up to unstuck ourselves? It is difficult so every human being is stuck in this level in different degree. If one can see through all the relationship, one then becomes the "Buddha". This is one of the concepts of Buddhism. If you can see through more than an average person, you are a smart guy. If you can see through even more, you are a guru with wisdom.
Then how can we gain awareness in this level? I really don't know exactly or else I at least become a guru. (Apparently I am not!) My very limited idea, in NLP terms, is to go "meta" in this level. Those real gurus in many religions practice different forms of mediations or prayers. These can be extreme forms of "Meta" states.
My intention of this article is not to improve the Logical Levels. I just want to reduce some common misunderstanding about this great NLP tool. Logical Levels are too "perfect" to be improved. It is only our perception in this tool needs improvement!
Keith
I talked about replacing "Spiritual" level with "Systems" level in the Logical Levels in last week's Strategy of Excellence Module of the NLP Practitioner Training.
Some understand it, and some don't.
This "System" stuff is not something easy to be understood. I intended to introduce this concept to the NLP Practitioner Training in 2006. So I had spent hours in discussing "Systemic" in the NLP Foundation Facilitation Program in the past few weeks. (This is a free program to all NLP Practitioner Trainees. If you missed the program this year, join us in 2006) Those who had attended the above program in the past few weeks can understand better this "Systems" Level concept.
This concept seems to be even more difficult for those who get used to linear thinking style (1-dimensional thinking). The concept of the first 5 levels in Logical Levels is quite "linear". For example, your behaviour affects your environment while your capability can affect your behaviours. But the highest level of Spirituality or Systems is not. This concept is more 2-dimensional.
What's in the first 5 levels is "something", like behaviour or a belief. But what's in the highest level of "Systems" is the "relationship" between you and something. It is not the "something" but the "relationship" that affects your Identity and the all those "something" in the lower levels.
The concept of the highest level of "Spiritual" in the original Logical Levels is our sense of something that goes beyond the image of ourselves. That means, your thought of something bigger than you. For easier understanding, it can be something more important than you. This over-simplicity can be misleading, and it misleads so many NLPers.
In the first 5 levels, the upper levels "generate" the levels below them. For example, a Belief of "Money = Freedom" can generate your Capability of "Earning Money". But how can something bigger or more important than yourself generate your perception of yourself (Identity)? For example, can "God' (someone/something bigger or more important than you) generate your Identity of a "Christian"? No. It is your perception of the "Relationship" between you and "God" (e.g. God is your Creator) generates your Identity.
Even more misleading when you think only something bigger or more important than yourself can affect/generate your Identity. You do not need to think that your spouse is more important/bigger than you in order to make you his/her wife/husband. This "Wife/Husband" Identity is based on your perceived relationship with him or her. If you consider that there is a relationship with you, the relationship then affects/generates your Identity. The relationship needs NOT to be bigger/more important than yourself; it still affects and generates your Identity. For example, if someone thinks that his wife is just like a domestic helper, the relationship with her is not "big" or "important", but he still sees himself as her "Master" (Identity).
There is nothing wrong with the original concept of "Spiritual" level as the original concept is "a larger system surrounding yourself = Spiritual". It is the name of the level (i.e. Spiritual) that misleads people. The originator, Robert Dilts is quite "New Age" so his interpretation of "Spiritual" might not match "Non New Ager's interpretation.
This misunderstanding limits the usefulness of this valuable model. Most of the NLPers can only use the model up to the first 5 levels. It is ridiculous to apply the "Spiritual" Level to business or religious organizations. Some NLPers use the term "Mission" instead of "Spiritual" in order to make it more acceptable. But this is again misleading. Mission should already be included in the "Identity" Level since your mission (or the organization's missions) make you (or the organization) who you are.
I use the term "Systems" to replace "Spiritual" because it implies that it is one's perceived relationships with something surrounding you. It can be a family system, organization system, human system or whatever systems.
Though this concept of "Systems" Level is more difficult but this concept is too important for all serious NLP Practitioners. This makes this 6th level more usable and this reflects better the original idea of Logical Levels. It is the relationship between you and something in a bigger system not something bigger that affects you.
We can be stuck in any levels in the Logical Levels. For example, when you stuck in the Capability Level, you are not aware of what capability or habit affecting you. You go a level up to the Belief/Value Level and you can "see" more clearly what's stuck in the Capability Level. For example, you have a belief of "People are Bad" so you get a Capability/Habit of suspecting everybody.
If you are stuck in the "Systems" Level, you can't see the relationships between you and other elements in the bigger system. These relationships still affect you seriously but you only see those elements being in the lowest level of Environment. That's why so many people think that it is the "Environment: controlling them, not they are controlling the Environment. If these elements are really just at the lowest level, you can easily affect them, instead of being the opposite.
But the "Systems" Level is already the highest level, how can we go even up to unstuck ourselves? It is difficult so every human being is stuck in this level in different degree. If one can see through all the relationship, one then becomes the "Buddha". This is one of the concepts of Buddhism. If you can see through more than an average person, you are a smart guy. If you can see through even more, you are a guru with wisdom.
Then how can we gain awareness in this level? I really don't know exactly or else I at least become a guru. (Apparently I am not!) My very limited idea, in NLP terms, is to go "meta" in this level. Those real gurus in many religions practice different forms of mediations or prayers. These can be extreme forms of "Meta" states.
My intention of this article is not to improve the Logical Levels. I just want to reduce some common misunderstanding about this great NLP tool. Logical Levels are too "perfect" to be improved. It is only our perception in this tool needs improvement!
Keith
Learning from Life #31 - #35
Hi,
This is my learning from life in the past week:
31. When someone don't understand, they think that you are wrong. (Not themselves!)
32. We always under-estimate the time need to get something done.
33. We always over-estimate the the results of doing something we want to do.
34. It is harder to complete something than starting it.
35. It is not so hard to do when you start it.
Hope you like these learning.
Keith
This is my learning from life in the past week:
31. When someone don't understand, they think that you are wrong. (Not themselves!)
32. We always under-estimate the time need to get something done.
33. We always over-estimate the the results of doing something we want to do.
34. It is harder to complete something than starting it.
35. It is not so hard to do when you start it.
Hope you like these learning.
Keith
2005/12/19
Having Your Purposes
Hi,
Not everyone has a purpose in doing things. Even less people has a life purpose.
Do you know having a purpose can make your life easier?
It eases your life at least in 3 ways:
1. You become more Charismatic. You know what you want. You have a direction to live your life. You easily attract those with similar purpose towards you. You can then get more help and resources than others.
2. You can see more Opportunities. As you know exactly what you want, anything that can possibly contribute to your purpose can be noticed by you.
3. You waste much less Effort. You will only do what can achieve and support your purpose. You stop wasting time and effort in meaningless stuff.
Clarify your purpose before the start of the new year. You are going to have a much easier and better life in the years ahead.
Keith
Not everyone has a purpose in doing things. Even less people has a life purpose.
Do you know having a purpose can make your life easier?
It eases your life at least in 3 ways:
1. You become more Charismatic. You know what you want. You have a direction to live your life. You easily attract those with similar purpose towards you. You can then get more help and resources than others.
2. You can see more Opportunities. As you know exactly what you want, anything that can possibly contribute to your purpose can be noticed by you.
3. You waste much less Effort. You will only do what can achieve and support your purpose. You stop wasting time and effort in meaningless stuff.
Clarify your purpose before the start of the new year. You are going to have a much easier and better life in the years ahead.
Keith
2005/12/07
The Success Secrets of Andy Grove, CEO of Intel
Hi,
The current issue of Fortune Magazine (Dec 12 2005) tells the success story of one of the greatest CEO in US, Andy Grove.
The company grows and grows even there are so many computer hardware competitors around the globe.
I encourage you to get the magazine and read the article. Here is my short summary of it:
There are at least 3 success secrets of Mr. Grove:
1. He tests his assumptions. If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions can't be right!
2. He observes himself objectively. He writes daily journal. He calls this Self-Education. This helps him understanding his thinking.
3. He encourages others to challenge him. Their inhouse training school trains their executives to challenge their colleagues and superiors by asking for evidences.
Even though Mr. Grove is not doing coaching, he is coaching himself to see his own blindspots. What a smart man!
Keith
The current issue of Fortune Magazine (Dec 12 2005) tells the success story of one of the greatest CEO in US, Andy Grove.
The company grows and grows even there are so many computer hardware competitors around the globe.
I encourage you to get the magazine and read the article. Here is my short summary of it:
There are at least 3 success secrets of Mr. Grove:
1. He tests his assumptions. If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions can't be right!
2. He observes himself objectively. He writes daily journal. He calls this Self-Education. This helps him understanding his thinking.
3. He encourages others to challenge him. Their inhouse training school trains their executives to challenge their colleagues and superiors by asking for evidences.
Even though Mr. Grove is not doing coaching, he is coaching himself to see his own blindspots. What a smart man!
Keith
2005/12/06
Quality of Life
Hi,
A recent survey reveals that the average dying age of professors in Mainland China is only 59!
How shocking it is!
The major reason for their short lifes is overwork.
This is a reminder for me (might be for you, too): Enjoy Life!
Keith
A recent survey reveals that the average dying age of professors in Mainland China is only 59!
How shocking it is!
The major reason for their short lifes is overwork.
This is a reminder for me (might be for you, too): Enjoy Life!
Keith
2005/12/03
NLP: NLP is NOT about NLP Skills
Hi,
I posted this article once in October, but it is "lost". So I post it again here:
NLP Skills are the results of NLP. Those developers "invented" these skills through NLP Modeling. NLP Modeling is the study of people's thinking programs, which in turn affect how we do, speak and think. NLP Modeling is the Core while NLP Skills are the accessories. If you still want NLP Skills, here are the Top 10 NLP Skills. These are all you need. Nearly all other NLP skills are modification of these skills.
1. Rapport – Pacing Qualities of Voice (Echoing: speed, tone, and volume), VAK (Matching), and/or Posture and Movement (Mirroring). Remember the objective of Pacing is Leading. Try Leading whenever you find you are already in rapport with others.
2. Fast Phobia Cure – Remove your Fears by Dissociation, Rewinding, Changing Submodalities.
3. Association & Dissociation – Association with what you want and Dissociate from what you don't want. Associate to get the feeling and Dissociate to get the information.
4. Swish Pattern – Work on "Bad" Experience, Thoughts, Habits or even Beliefs. Then swish it away with your new Image.
5. Anchoring – Feel the feeling of the Resources and Anchor it. Use it later if that resource is needed.
6. Changing Submodalities – Recall the Pictures of what annoys you (experience, thoughts, beliefs), change the submodalities to make the relief.
7. Perceptual Positions – Walk into 2nd & 3rd Position to understand the situation more.
8. Aligning Logical Levels – Walk up your Levels to understand more about your situation in each level. Walk down again to integrate your new learning. Use when you want to explore more about some projects and plans.
9. Circle of Excellence – Put the Resources on floor. Bring it back by visualizing it again.
10. Reframing –
Meaning Reframing – What can be the other meaning of this situation?
Context Reframing – What situations can this be useful?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
I posted this article once in October, but it is "lost". So I post it again here:
NLP Skills are the results of NLP. Those developers "invented" these skills through NLP Modeling. NLP Modeling is the study of people's thinking programs, which in turn affect how we do, speak and think. NLP Modeling is the Core while NLP Skills are the accessories. If you still want NLP Skills, here are the Top 10 NLP Skills. These are all you need. Nearly all other NLP skills are modification of these skills.
1. Rapport – Pacing Qualities of Voice (Echoing: speed, tone, and volume), VAK (Matching), and/or Posture and Movement (Mirroring). Remember the objective of Pacing is Leading. Try Leading whenever you find you are already in rapport with others.
2. Fast Phobia Cure – Remove your Fears by Dissociation, Rewinding, Changing Submodalities.
3. Association & Dissociation – Association with what you want and Dissociate from what you don't want. Associate to get the feeling and Dissociate to get the information.
4. Swish Pattern – Work on "Bad" Experience, Thoughts, Habits or even Beliefs. Then swish it away with your new Image.
5. Anchoring – Feel the feeling of the Resources and Anchor it. Use it later if that resource is needed.
6. Changing Submodalities – Recall the Pictures of what annoys you (experience, thoughts, beliefs), change the submodalities to make the relief.
7. Perceptual Positions – Walk into 2nd & 3rd Position to understand the situation more.
8. Aligning Logical Levels – Walk up your Levels to understand more about your situation in each level. Walk down again to integrate your new learning. Use when you want to explore more about some projects and plans.
9. Circle of Excellence – Put the Resources on floor. Bring it back by visualizing it again.
10. Reframing –
Meaning Reframing – What can be the other meaning of this situation?
Context Reframing – What situations can this be useful?
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
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