Hi,
Here is another part of My Learning from Life Series:
66. You can't force anyone doing/thinking something, but you can persuade him/her or create an environment to make him/her do/think that something.
67. Even people ask for something, he/she might not really want it.
68. I am not my job, career or business. I am me.
69. When we have needs unmet, we can't see things clearly.
70. People are different, not bad!
Keith
Keith To's Ideas & Thoughts on NLP, Hypnosis, Coaching, Facilitation, Personal and Business Development. These seem to be nothing related. But from a Systemic Thinking perspective, they share similar nature and processes. 陶兆輝對身心語言程序學、催眠治療學、教練學、輔引學、個人發展及商業發展的純個人看法；它們看似毫不相關，但當你從合整式思維角度來看，它們卻擁有相近的性質及過程；我將每隔數天不斷加入新的文章, 內容絕不敢認為是肯定正確, 旨在拋磚引玉而矣。 (All articles copyrighted by Keith To)
2006/06/19
2006/06/18
Path to Happiness
Hi,
If you want to be Happy, you can do 2 things. Firstly, don't make yourself Unhappy. Then, make yourself Happy!
You can't be Happy when you are Unhappy. So, if you are Unhappy, don't seek Happpiness. It doesn't works. You must make yourself not Unhappy before getting Happiness. When you are not Unhappy, you are in a Neutral State. It is the starting point to Happiness.
Simple? Yes.
When you like to have something, you are either needing, wanting or desiring for it.
Be clear about what you Need, then get them. This will make you not be Unhappy.
Then focus your effort and time in getting what you Desire. Acquiring them will make you really Happy.
Forget about all your "Wants". They can't make you very Happy or Unhappy!!!
Keith
If you want to be Happy, you can do 2 things. Firstly, don't make yourself Unhappy. Then, make yourself Happy!
You can't be Happy when you are Unhappy. So, if you are Unhappy, don't seek Happpiness. It doesn't works. You must make yourself not Unhappy before getting Happiness. When you are not Unhappy, you are in a Neutral State. It is the starting point to Happiness.
Simple? Yes.
When you like to have something, you are either needing, wanting or desiring for it.
Be clear about what you Need, then get them. This will make you not be Unhappy.
Then focus your effort and time in getting what you Desire. Acquiring them will make you really Happy.
Forget about all your "Wants". They can't make you very Happy or Unhappy!!!
Keith
Coaching: Giving Advises
Hi,
When I teach coaching, I always remind our participants not to give advises to clients. When I coach, I always remind myself not to give advises to my clients.
Giving advises causes more problems than solutions.
But I am a human being, and I make mistakes! No matter how careful I try to be, I still give an unwanted advise to my client recently. Actually, it is not an advise, but a small feedback on what I saw.
An unwanted feedback is still an unwanted feedback.
My Learning: Don't even think of giving advises, even being asked for!!!
Keith
When I teach coaching, I always remind our participants not to give advises to clients. When I coach, I always remind myself not to give advises to my clients.
Giving advises causes more problems than solutions.
But I am a human being, and I make mistakes! No matter how careful I try to be, I still give an unwanted advise to my client recently. Actually, it is not an advise, but a small feedback on what I saw.
An unwanted feedback is still an unwanted feedback.
My Learning: Don't even think of giving advises, even being asked for!!!
Keith
2006/06/15
Where are the Ideas?
Hi,
Today is the Ideas-Lead Econnomy. You generate ideas. You then turn the ideas into products/services. Our business can't be Consumers-Lead. Consumers just do not know what they really want in today's rapid changing world.
But where are the ideas? We thin, we search but we can't find them.
One thing is sure is that the ideas are not in our heads! We just can't think of any great idea out of nothing. Ideas are everywhere around us, but we just can't see them.
Why?
Because they are not in form of words. But we get used only to words. Everything around us are images. We can't see "Non-Words" ideas with a "Word" eyes. We need a different language to see these ideas - the Visual Language or using what I am going to say in my coming classes of the "Business By Design" Program, the Design Language.
See everything around you in form of Point/Line/Face, Shape, Value (Intensity), Texture and Colours. Then you start to "see" the ideas!!!
Keith
Today is the Ideas-Lead Econnomy. You generate ideas. You then turn the ideas into products/services. Our business can't be Consumers-Lead. Consumers just do not know what they really want in today's rapid changing world.
But where are the ideas? We thin, we search but we can't find them.
One thing is sure is that the ideas are not in our heads! We just can't think of any great idea out of nothing. Ideas are everywhere around us, but we just can't see them.
Why?
Because they are not in form of words. But we get used only to words. Everything around us are images. We can't see "Non-Words" ideas with a "Word" eyes. We need a different language to see these ideas - the Visual Language or using what I am going to say in my coming classes of the "Business By Design" Program, the Design Language.
See everything around you in form of Point/Line/Face, Shape, Value (Intensity), Texture and Colours. Then you start to "see" the ideas!!!
Keith
堅持自己的價值
Hi,
I posted an article - 堅持自己的價值 in the current issue of our Excel Your Life Newsletter. (You can click here to read it)
One of our readers emailed me some questions. Here are my answers:
1. 我覺得在這一個社會裹，市場的眼光根本很難避免。
You are not going to avoid how the market see you. It is more important about how you see your own value. I am not talking about simply seeing yourself with high value. That is either 自欺欺人 or 自大. It is about whether you can see your true value and then enhancing it!
2. 根據你提供的文章（先有了最好的珠寶商的眼光｝怎樣才能擁有？
Be a 最好的珠寶商!
3. 若一個心態壞的珠寶商，能從心中看出人生價值嗎？
Value is nothing about attitude. Attitude only affect one's making use of the things/people with value.
4. 文章提到（ 我們的價值，不在於外面的評價，而是在我們給自己的定價），自己的定價能單從上學，看書得到嗎？
No. You can NEVER increase your value by studying. By definition: Market Value = Benefits / Price. You can increase your Market Value either by providing more Benefits to Buyer or/and reducing your Price. I do both.
Hope you find these answers useful.
Keith
I posted an article - 堅持自己的價值 in the current issue of our Excel Your Life Newsletter. (You can click here to read it)
One of our readers emailed me some questions. Here are my answers:
1. 我覺得在這一個社會裹，市場的眼光根本很難避免。
You are not going to avoid how the market see you. It is more important about how you see your own value. I am not talking about simply seeing yourself with high value. That is either 自欺欺人 or 自大. It is about whether you can see your true value and then enhancing it!
2. 根據你提供的文章（先有了最好的珠寶商的眼光｝怎樣才能擁有？
Be a 最好的珠寶商!
3. 若一個心態壞的珠寶商，能從心中看出人生價值嗎？
Value is nothing about attitude. Attitude only affect one's making use of the things/people with value.
4. 文章提到（ 我們的價值，不在於外面的評價，而是在我們給自己的定價），自己的定價能單從上學，看書得到嗎？
No. You can NEVER increase your value by studying. By definition: Market Value = Benefits / Price. You can increase your Market Value either by providing more Benefits to Buyer or/and reducing your Price. I do both.
Hope you find these answers useful.
Keith
2006/06/09
Hypnosis: Extremely Effective Self Hypnosis Suggestion
Hi,
For many years, I am doing self hypnosis for myself everyday. (only 5 minutes a day)
I try to work out some suggestions that are really effective, so that I can use them again and again.
My version is based on the famous Coure's Formula. But I revised it to enhance its effectiveness. This Self Suggestions compose of 3 statements. The first one is the original Coure's Formula:
1. 每一日, 每一方面, 我都會變得越來越好
2. 我會留意自己每一日, 每一方面, 我都會變得越來越好
3. 就算唔好, 我都能夠想到方法令自己變得越來越好
This is a typical example of the Systemic Hypnotherapy that I taught in the Final Retreat of the Master Hypnotherapist Class. For our Master Hypnotherpapist Graduates, you should notice why adding point 2 & 3 can make the original formula becoming more effective.
Point 2 acts as a Positive Reinforcer while Point 3 acts as a Balancer to Point 1.
I do this for years and I do benefited from them. Try them yourself!
Keith
For many years, I am doing self hypnosis for myself everyday. (only 5 minutes a day)
I try to work out some suggestions that are really effective, so that I can use them again and again.
My version is based on the famous Coure's Formula. But I revised it to enhance its effectiveness. This Self Suggestions compose of 3 statements. The first one is the original Coure's Formula:
1. 每一日, 每一方面, 我都會變得越來越好
2. 我會留意自己每一日, 每一方面, 我都會變得越來越好
3. 就算唔好, 我都能夠想到方法令自己變得越來越好
This is a typical example of the Systemic Hypnotherapy that I taught in the Final Retreat of the Master Hypnotherapist Class. For our Master Hypnotherpapist Graduates, you should notice why adding point 2 & 3 can make the original formula becoming more effective.
Point 2 acts as a Positive Reinforcer while Point 3 acts as a Balancer to Point 1.
I do this for years and I do benefited from them. Try them yourself!
Keith
2006/05/11
Participants' Feedback on Achievement Support System
Hi,
Last week, I conducted the Achievement Support System Seminar. I requested those 350 participants to provide me feedbacks to improve the system.
18 participants replied and I really like to thank for their support. Don't you think providing constructive feedbacks to others is another form of Support System?
Here is my consolidation of their feedbacks. It can be insightful!
Feedbacks on Support Elements:
1. Feedback
2. R&D
3. Religion
4. Library
5. Radio
6. Audio Recorder
7. Copier
8. Camera
9. Teachers
10. Students
11. Children
12. Associations
13. Music
14. Comfortable Space
15. Assistants
16. Self Awareness
17. Beliefs
18. Solitary
19. Faith
20. TV
21. Seminars
22. 7-Eleven
23. Food
24. Habits
25. Packaging for Image
26. Gyms
27. Beauty Salon
28. Shops
29. Medicine
30. Suppliments
31. Enemies
32. Exercises
33. Goals
34. Classmates
35. Data
36. Octopus
37. Post-it
38. Pen
39. St. James Settlement
40. John Lau
41. ThinkTank Classes
42. Mastermind Groups
43. Clothing
44. Smiles
45. Blogs
46. Lighting
47. Self Talk
48. HypnoNLP Group
49. 吉祥物
50. Pocket-Sized Books
51. Filing System
Other Points of View about Support System:
1. Explore more for more environment supporting yourself.
2. Simple
3. Focused
4. Environment = Collection of Resources
I will fully integrate these ideas into the Achievement Support System Version 2.0. Thanks again.
Keith
Last week, I conducted the Achievement Support System Seminar. I requested those 350 participants to provide me feedbacks to improve the system.
18 participants replied and I really like to thank for their support. Don't you think providing constructive feedbacks to others is another form of Support System?
Here is my consolidation of their feedbacks. It can be insightful!
Feedbacks on Support Elements:
1. Feedback
2. R&D
3. Religion
4. Library
5. Radio
6. Audio Recorder
7. Copier
8. Camera
9. Teachers
10. Students
11. Children
12. Associations
13. Music
14. Comfortable Space
15. Assistants
16. Self Awareness
17. Beliefs
18. Solitary
19. Faith
20. TV
21. Seminars
22. 7-Eleven
23. Food
24. Habits
25. Packaging for Image
26. Gyms
27. Beauty Salon
28. Shops
29. Medicine
30. Suppliments
31. Enemies
32. Exercises
33. Goals
34. Classmates
35. Data
36. Octopus
37. Post-it
38. Pen
39. St. James Settlement
40. John Lau
41. ThinkTank Classes
42. Mastermind Groups
43. Clothing
44. Smiles
45. Blogs
46. Lighting
47. Self Talk
48. HypnoNLP Group
49. 吉祥物
50. Pocket-Sized Books
51. Filing System
Other Points of View about Support System:
1. Explore more for more environment supporting yourself.
2. Simple
3. Focused
4. Environment = Collection of Resources
I will fully integrate these ideas into the Achievement Support System Version 2.0. Thanks again.
Keith
Influencing: Set-Up Questions
Hi,
Recently I gave a talk to a large group of sales professionals. I talked about asking questions in selling.
In the good old days, some sales persons invented one of the best selling skills - asking questions. They asked questions not to sell, but to gather information about their potential clients. Then, they used the information to sell. This is a great selling model. You understand your clients better. You know their needs and their hot buttons.
Then some "smart" guys created a even "better" way to ask questions. They invented some questions that can sell the clients directly. No matter what the clients answered, the sales person can use the clients' answers to sell them further.
For example, they can ask their client: Have you heard of the product X? If the answer is "yes", they have a standard script to push the selling process further. If "no", they still have another script to do the same. It can be a series of questions, which finally leads to the closing of the sales.
These are the so-called Set-Up Questions. You set up your clients. If you think that these questions are good, think again.
It could be effective years ago when the skill was firstly created. After years, people are well aware of these questions. They take great care to answer these Set-Up questions in order not to be set-up. This is the biggest reason why clients don't want to answer sales persons' questions.
Our clients are becoming smarter and smarter. Forget about these outdated techniques. Just ask questions to explore more about the clients. My favourite question is: How is your current situation in X? This is an open question without any set-up.
If you ask me what is the follow-up question, there is none. If there is any pre-determined follow-up question, the first question then becomes a Set-Up for your clients. Just ask questions to get more information.
Everybody in the sales profession understands the fact that the more the clients talk, the higher the chance of closing the deal. The only way for a client to talk more is to ask clean questions and to make them feeling safe. Stop using any Set-Up questions!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Updated: Aug 15 2008
Recently I gave a talk to a large group of sales professionals. I talked about asking questions in selling.
In the good old days, some sales persons invented one of the best selling skills - asking questions. They asked questions not to sell, but to gather information about their potential clients. Then, they used the information to sell. This is a great selling model. You understand your clients better. You know their needs and their hot buttons.
Then some "smart" guys created a even "better" way to ask questions. They invented some questions that can sell the clients directly. No matter what the clients answered, the sales person can use the clients' answers to sell them further.
For example, they can ask their client: Have you heard of the product X? If the answer is "yes", they have a standard script to push the selling process further. If "no", they still have another script to do the same. It can be a series of questions, which finally leads to the closing of the sales.
These are the so-called Set-Up Questions. You set up your clients. If you think that these questions are good, think again.
It could be effective years ago when the skill was firstly created. After years, people are well aware of these questions. They take great care to answer these Set-Up questions in order not to be set-up. This is the biggest reason why clients don't want to answer sales persons' questions.
Our clients are becoming smarter and smarter. Forget about these outdated techniques. Just ask questions to explore more about the clients. My favourite question is: How is your current situation in X? This is an open question without any set-up.
If you ask me what is the follow-up question, there is none. If there is any pre-determined follow-up question, the first question then becomes a Set-Up for your clients. Just ask questions to get more information.
Everybody in the sales profession understands the fact that the more the clients talk, the higher the chance of closing the deal. The only way for a client to talk more is to ask clean questions and to make them feeling safe. Stop using any Set-Up questions!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
Updated: Aug 15 2008
Learning from Life #61 - 65
Hi,
Here is another part of my "Learning from Life" Series.
61. Respect what you do is the best way to make it better.
62. Sometimes, women are more opened to new ideas than men.
63. You can't get happiness when your goal is happiness.
64. People is not good or bad. People is people.
65. Training can't change people. Learning can!
Keith
Here is another part of my "Learning from Life" Series.
61. Respect what you do is the best way to make it better.
62. Sometimes, women are more opened to new ideas than men.
63. You can't get happiness when your goal is happiness.
64. People is not good or bad. People is people.
65. Training can't change people. Learning can!
Keith
Hypnosis: Hypnosis is about Changes Part 5
Hi,
This is the Part 5 of the article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".
To recap what we had discussed in the last 4 parts:
Source > Problems/Factors > Symptoms
This is not the full picture yet. The Source cannot directly produce the Problem. For example, a boy who was frightened by his teacher cannot make him having fear with his boss. The former can be the Source of the latter. But there is a missing link between them. It can be something like this:
Source > Beliefs > Problems/Factors > Symptoms
The Source subsconciosuly induced a/some beliefs, which indirectly lead to the Problem. The boy, after being frightened by his teacher, can believe that all people senior than him can be threatening. This Belief causes the fear.
This opens up another door for hypnotherapists to work on the Problem. We can identify the Belief behind clients' Problem. When they shifted their Beliefs, they improve their Problems.
We can use hypnotic techniques like Inner Guidance, Inner Healer, Communicating with the Disease Entity, Hypnotic Uncovering Technique, or Ego States Therapy to identify the Meaning of the Illness or Problem. When the Meaning and/or Belief is exposed, if it is irrational, the clients can then gain understanding and learning.
We will talk about the last Element, Resultant, in our Part 6.
Keith
This is the Part 5 of the article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".
To recap what we had discussed in the last 4 parts:
Source > Problems/Factors > Symptoms
This is not the full picture yet. The Source cannot directly produce the Problem. For example, a boy who was frightened by his teacher cannot make him having fear with his boss. The former can be the Source of the latter. But there is a missing link between them. It can be something like this:
Source > Beliefs > Problems/Factors > Symptoms
The Source subsconciosuly induced a/some beliefs, which indirectly lead to the Problem. The boy, after being frightened by his teacher, can believe that all people senior than him can be threatening. This Belief causes the fear.
This opens up another door for hypnotherapists to work on the Problem. We can identify the Belief behind clients' Problem. When they shifted their Beliefs, they improve their Problems.
We can use hypnotic techniques like Inner Guidance, Inner Healer, Communicating with the Disease Entity, Hypnotic Uncovering Technique, or Ego States Therapy to identify the Meaning of the Illness or Problem. When the Meaning and/or Belief is exposed, if it is irrational, the clients can then gain understanding and learning.
We will talk about the last Element, Resultant, in our Part 6.
Keith
2006/05/05
NLP: More Choices, More Confusion?
Hi,
This is a follow-up message for the previous message of "Problem Solving Models".
My friend emailed me another question which can help us understanding the Choices concept even more. Here is his question:
"The more choices one has, the higher the possibility of getting his/her problems solved. But the more choices one has, the more confusion of managing choices is created."
This is the most frequent question asked about choices!
More choices lead to more confusion? This is a common misunderstanding about "choices".
A Choice is NOT an Option!
A Choice is an Option that one has thought through and understand its advantages and disadvantages, while an Option is just the freedom to choose.
When you have a lot of Options but without the understanding, they will cause confusion. However, more Choices with thorough understanding creates clarity and possibilities!
Find and Create Choices, but not just Options.
Hope this explanation helps.
Keith
This is a follow-up message for the previous message of "Problem Solving Models".
My friend emailed me another question which can help us understanding the Choices concept even more. Here is his question:
"The more choices one has, the higher the possibility of getting his/her problems solved. But the more choices one has, the more confusion of managing choices is created."
This is the most frequent question asked about choices!
More choices lead to more confusion? This is a common misunderstanding about "choices".
A Choice is NOT an Option!
A Choice is an Option that one has thought through and understand its advantages and disadvantages, while an Option is just the freedom to choose.
When you have a lot of Options but without the understanding, they will cause confusion. However, more Choices with thorough understanding creates clarity and possibilities!
Find and Create Choices, but not just Options.
Hope this explanation helps.
Keith
2006/05/03
Problemology: Problem Solving Models
Hi,
I recieved an question from one of our classmates today as follows:
You have suggested two different approaches to solve difficult problem in the WABC Roundtable meetings:
1) 忘記 - 憂慮 - 欠缺 - 挫折 - 忽略 - 危險
2) 症狀 - 理想 - 差異 - 機制 - 解決 - 起因
Do you have any suggestion on how to relate the 2 approaches into an inter-related model for solving problem. Any suggestion will be greatly appreciated.
Here is my answer and I like to share with you all:
These 2 models are choices for you to choose to solve your problems.
They might not have any relationship. But the more choices one has, the higher the possibility of getting his/her problems solved. One can't solve his/her problems because one might not have enough choicea or have only one single choice but it doesn't works.
In my recent free course, the Life Strategist Program, I presented 50 problem solving strategies. The one message I want to share is: We can have a lots of choices!
BTW, the first model can be easily used in personal problems while the 2nd one can be used in both personal and business situations with ease.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
I recieved an question from one of our classmates today as follows:
You have suggested two different approaches to solve difficult problem in the WABC Roundtable meetings:
1) 忘記 - 憂慮 - 欠缺 - 挫折 - 忽略 - 危險
2) 症狀 - 理想 - 差異 - 機制 - 解決 - 起因
Do you have any suggestion on how to relate the 2 approaches into an inter-related model for solving problem. Any suggestion will be greatly appreciated.
Here is my answer and I like to share with you all:
These 2 models are choices for you to choose to solve your problems.
They might not have any relationship. But the more choices one has, the higher the possibility of getting his/her problems solved. One can't solve his/her problems because one might not have enough choicea or have only one single choice but it doesn't works.
In my recent free course, the Life Strategist Program, I presented 50 problem solving strategies. The one message I want to share is: We can have a lots of choices!
BTW, the first model can be easily used in personal problems while the 2nd one can be used in both personal and business situations with ease.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
2006/05/02
A Simple Way to Make Things Concrete
Hi,
Being human, we can't handle abstract things. Our mind will freezes and we can't respond to it. So we are not very good at ideas and being creative.
Things become more and more abstract today as things change so fast. Anything during changes is abstract until the changes are completed. But when the changes are completed, things start to change again. This is a never-ending story happening again and again today.
So, people suffers.
There is a simple way to make abstract things concrete and solid, so that we can then deal with them.
Name it. Give it a name.
When you give it a name, it changes from nothing to something.
Don't be afraid to give things wrong names. Once you give it a name, you can start to work on it. Then you get more information about it. You can change its name whenever you like.
Name something when you do not know what it is!
Keith
Being human, we can't handle abstract things. Our mind will freezes and we can't respond to it. So we are not very good at ideas and being creative.
Things become more and more abstract today as things change so fast. Anything during changes is abstract until the changes are completed. But when the changes are completed, things start to change again. This is a never-ending story happening again and again today.
So, people suffers.
There is a simple way to make abstract things concrete and solid, so that we can then deal with them.
Name it. Give it a name.
When you give it a name, it changes from nothing to something.
Don't be afraid to give things wrong names. Once you give it a name, you can start to work on it. Then you get more information about it. You can change its name whenever you like.
Name something when you do not know what it is!
Keith
2006/04/27
Winning & Losing
Hi,
I just watched a TV documentary program. It is about the physiology of winning and losing of human beings.
We all have the instinct to win and to avoid losing. Our lower brain (the animal brain) produces different kinds of chemicals that make us feeling excited and happy when winning and make us feeling miserable and weak when losing.
We hate but remember our losing, all because of these chemicals. This enables human beings becoming so competitive. People withdraws from competitions because they remember too much the bad feelings of being losed. The original intention is to encourage us to learn and remember from our losings so that we can improve in the future.
This is quite "normal" and can be found in most of us. We can't do much, if we are just animals. But we are not.
Our upper brain, the human brain, which is extraordinarily well-developed in human, helps us to think how to win and how to learn from our failures.
But when during competitions and urgency, the chemicals in our lower brain suppress the normal activities of our upper brain. We stop thinking.
Solution: Think and Plan Ahead!
However, this is not our usual habit! If we do not really think and plan ahead, we are just like animals.
Think and Plan Ahead!
Keith
I just watched a TV documentary program. It is about the physiology of winning and losing of human beings.
We all have the instinct to win and to avoid losing. Our lower brain (the animal brain) produces different kinds of chemicals that make us feeling excited and happy when winning and make us feeling miserable and weak when losing.
We hate but remember our losing, all because of these chemicals. This enables human beings becoming so competitive. People withdraws from competitions because they remember too much the bad feelings of being losed. The original intention is to encourage us to learn and remember from our losings so that we can improve in the future.
This is quite "normal" and can be found in most of us. We can't do much, if we are just animals. But we are not.
Our upper brain, the human brain, which is extraordinarily well-developed in human, helps us to think how to win and how to learn from our failures.
But when during competitions and urgency, the chemicals in our lower brain suppress the normal activities of our upper brain. We stop thinking.
Solution: Think and Plan Ahead!
However, this is not our usual habit! If we do not really think and plan ahead, we are just like animals.
Think and Plan Ahead!
Keith
2006/04/24
Master Hypnotherapist Retreat
Hi,
I had just completed the Master Hypnotherapist Retreat last weekend.
Due to some incidents in my life, I decided to teach all I really know about hypnosis in this retreat. I changed 95% of the course content as compared to last retreat.
I think that I had already done my best to teach everything I can teach. Hoping all those classmates who had come enjoyed and learned.
I myself did enjoyed the weekend very much. Keeping what I think is the most useful to myself with teaching them seems to be a burden to myself. Now, the burden is off my shoulders.
Let me summarised what you had learned in the retreat as the answers to the most important question that every serious hypnotherapist should asked themselves: Why Hypnosis Failed?
1. Not deep enough! Hypnotize your clients to ultra-depth.
2. Not Persuasive Enough! Keep all the 3 major frameworks of Suggestions in mind and do the hard work of practising until you can 語無倫次 out of nothing without thinking. Just remember my demo of "seducing" that old lady and young girl in that 砵仔糕 shop.
3. Not Seeing Enough! See more. See the whole system. This is the only part you need to "think". Remember, a hypnotherapist is an "Active Media". He thinks before interventing.
4. Emotions Block Discovery! Use Painless Therapies as much as possible!
Again, thanks all for your hardwork, participation, and supports.
Keith
I had just completed the Master Hypnotherapist Retreat last weekend.
Due to some incidents in my life, I decided to teach all I really know about hypnosis in this retreat. I changed 95% of the course content as compared to last retreat.
I think that I had already done my best to teach everything I can teach. Hoping all those classmates who had come enjoyed and learned.
I myself did enjoyed the weekend very much. Keeping what I think is the most useful to myself with teaching them seems to be a burden to myself. Now, the burden is off my shoulders.
Let me summarised what you had learned in the retreat as the answers to the most important question that every serious hypnotherapist should asked themselves: Why Hypnosis Failed?
1. Not deep enough! Hypnotize your clients to ultra-depth.
2. Not Persuasive Enough! Keep all the 3 major frameworks of Suggestions in mind and do the hard work of practising until you can 語無倫次 out of nothing without thinking. Just remember my demo of "seducing" that old lady and young girl in that 砵仔糕 shop.
3. Not Seeing Enough! See more. See the whole system. This is the only part you need to "think". Remember, a hypnotherapist is an "Active Media". He thinks before interventing.
4. Emotions Block Discovery! Use Painless Therapies as much as possible!
Again, thanks all for your hardwork, participation, and supports.
Keith
2006/04/15
Hypnosis: Hypnosis is about Changes Part 4
Hi,
This is Part 4 of my article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".
To recap what we had discussed in the last 3 parts:
Source > Problems/Factors > Symptoms
Every Problem the client facing might have a Source, the initial origin. It can be some unpleasant past experience. The Problem can then produce various Symptoms.
In this Part 4, I am going to talk about the Factors Element.
The Factors are conditions that support the Problem. It can be internal or external. The more intense are the Factors, the more serious can the Problem be.
If we can't work on the Source due to whatever reasons, we can "attack" the Factors. We, hypnotherapists, can help our clients either by making our clients aware of the Factors so that they can do something about them, or by reducing the intensity of their internal factors, or by lowering their reactions to the external factors, or by cutting off the links between the Factors and the Problem.
Usually by doing so, we can reduce the seriousness of the Problem, or sometimes we can eliminate the Problem as the conditions (Factors) is not strong enough to support the Problem any more.
In our Part 5 of the series, we will discuss the Belief Element of the Problem.
Keith
This is Part 4 of my article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".
To recap what we had discussed in the last 3 parts:
Source > Problems/Factors > Symptoms
Every Problem the client facing might have a Source, the initial origin. It can be some unpleasant past experience. The Problem can then produce various Symptoms.
In this Part 4, I am going to talk about the Factors Element.
The Factors are conditions that support the Problem. It can be internal or external. The more intense are the Factors, the more serious can the Problem be.
If we can't work on the Source due to whatever reasons, we can "attack" the Factors. We, hypnotherapists, can help our clients either by making our clients aware of the Factors so that they can do something about them, or by reducing the intensity of their internal factors, or by lowering their reactions to the external factors, or by cutting off the links between the Factors and the Problem.
Usually by doing so, we can reduce the seriousness of the Problem, or sometimes we can eliminate the Problem as the conditions (Factors) is not strong enough to support the Problem any more.
In our Part 5 of the series, we will discuss the Belief Element of the Problem.
Keith
Hypnosis: What is the Use of Pre-Talk in Hypnotherapy?
Hi,
Someone asked me a question about Hypnotherapy today.
If we should not do any diagnosis, what is the function of Pre-Talk?
Yes, we should not doing any diagnosis. This is the work of medical doctors/clinical psychologist and other professionals. It is dangerous and misleading to clients as we do not have the right kind of training to do diagnosis.
But we do analysis with the clients. We assist the clients to analyse his/her own situation so that they can be clearer about themeselves and their problems.
So, we ask questions to help them to understand.
Medical doctors ask and answer questions.
Keith
Someone asked me a question about Hypnotherapy today.
If we should not do any diagnosis, what is the function of Pre-Talk?
Yes, we should not doing any diagnosis. This is the work of medical doctors/clinical psychologist and other professionals. It is dangerous and misleading to clients as we do not have the right kind of training to do diagnosis.
But we do analysis with the clients. We assist the clients to analyse his/her own situation so that they can be clearer about themeselves and their problems.
So, we ask questions to help them to understand.
Medical doctors ask and answer questions.
Keith
2006/04/13
Life Strategy, Simple?!
Hi,
I just conducted my "Life Strategist" Free Seminar Series Part 1 earlier this week.
I intended to present a total of 200+ life strategies for you to select for your own life.
Some people might think that the life strategies are so simple, each with just 2 simple words?
What do you expect? A thesis for each strategy!
By definition, a strategy must be simple. If it is complicated, it might be a tactic or just one of the methods.
A strategy is the approach to get what you want in the future. It provides just enough structure to induce your thinking to the suitable tactics and methods.
But it is just too simple and vague. Yes, not everybody gets used to strategy because it is "too" simple and vague. Many seek methods for their whole lives. But they lost sight of the bigger picture. They are so involved into the "doing" part. They are busy for their whole life but can't get what they expected.
Slowly, people lowers their expectation and explains that this is life and reality.
Strategy gives you the bigger picture to see what can be done to achieve what you want. It keeps you focusing what's matter and what's important.
So, you can either get used to the rather simple and vague strategy or continue what you are doing in the past and get what you got in the past.
Wish you successful in your journey of startegy searching!
Keith
I just conducted my "Life Strategist" Free Seminar Series Part 1 earlier this week.
I intended to present a total of 200+ life strategies for you to select for your own life.
Some people might think that the life strategies are so simple, each with just 2 simple words?
What do you expect? A thesis for each strategy!
By definition, a strategy must be simple. If it is complicated, it might be a tactic or just one of the methods.
A strategy is the approach to get what you want in the future. It provides just enough structure to induce your thinking to the suitable tactics and methods.
But it is just too simple and vague. Yes, not everybody gets used to strategy because it is "too" simple and vague. Many seek methods for their whole lives. But they lost sight of the bigger picture. They are so involved into the "doing" part. They are busy for their whole life but can't get what they expected.
Slowly, people lowers their expectation and explains that this is life and reality.
Strategy gives you the bigger picture to see what can be done to achieve what you want. It keeps you focusing what's matter and what's important.
So, you can either get used to the rather simple and vague strategy or continue what you are doing in the past and get what you got in the past.
Wish you successful in your journey of startegy searching!
Keith
2006/04/12
親歷其境
Hi,
人生在世，太多冷眼旁觀，太少親歷其境！
只有旁觀，沒有親身體驗，充其量只能獲取知識的一半！
我於自己的書中經常談及多位希臘哲人的智慧，但全都取材自書籍及各種參考資料，我決定於五月份前往希臘一行，親身走過希臘哲人之路，讓自己一次親歷其境，希望能得到更大更深的領略及啟發。
Keith
人生在世，太多冷眼旁觀，太少親歷其境！
只有旁觀，沒有親身體驗，充其量只能獲取知識的一半！
我於自己的書中經常談及多位希臘哲人的智慧，但全都取材自書籍及各種參考資料，我決定於五月份前往希臘一行，親身走過希臘哲人之路，讓自己一次親歷其境，希望能得到更大更深的領略及啟發。
Keith
2006/04/11
2nd Printing of My New Book, 羸一場人生
Hi,
I am really happy to know that my new book, 羸一場人生 is on its 2nd printing within its first month of publishing.
Thanks a lot to all of you who support me (and John Lau) and the book.
Wishing you all 羸一場人生!!!
Keith
I am really happy to know that my new book, 羸一場人生 is on its 2nd printing within its first month of publishing.
Thanks a lot to all of you who support me (and John Lau) and the book.
Wishing you all 羸一場人生!!!
Keith
2006/04/06
The Monk & the Lady
Hi,
Suddenly, I think of an old Zen Story.
It is about 2 monks and a lady.
2 monks and a lady come across a river. The lady does not know how to cross the river. One of the monk carries the lady at his back.
After a looooooong while, the other monk asks the first monk why he carried the lady. It did not fitted the moral code of being a monk.
The first monk calmly replies, the lady had already left, why she is still on your back?
Why is she still on your back???
Keith
Suddenly, I think of an old Zen Story.
It is about 2 monks and a lady.
2 monks and a lady come across a river. The lady does not know how to cross the river. One of the monk carries the lady at his back.
After a looooooong while, the other monk asks the first monk why he carried the lady. It did not fitted the moral code of being a monk.
The first monk calmly replies, the lady had already left, why she is still on your back?
Why is she still on your back???
Keith
2006/04/03
Metaphor about How to See More
Hi,
Here is a metaphor about seeing more:
To see more, you can either going up, turning around or going to another spot.
When you go up, you can see broader (stuff at the ground level) and higher (stuff at the upper levels). In NLP, we go Meta! (Many people misunderstand the Meta-Position. It is an upper position, or you can't see yourself, others and the relationships among them!)
When you turn around, you see what's behind you. You change your angle of view, you see other stuff at the same level. In NLP, we intentionally apply different filters and frames.
When you going to other spots, you see different perspectives of the same stuff. In NLP, we dissociate and go to other positions.
Keith
Here is a metaphor about seeing more:
To see more, you can either going up, turning around or going to another spot.
When you go up, you can see broader (stuff at the ground level) and higher (stuff at the upper levels). In NLP, we go Meta! (Many people misunderstand the Meta-Position. It is an upper position, or you can't see yourself, others and the relationships among them!)
When you turn around, you see what's behind you. You change your angle of view, you see other stuff at the same level. In NLP, we intentionally apply different filters and frames.
When you going to other spots, you see different perspectives of the same stuff. In NLP, we dissociate and go to other positions.
Keith
"Seeing" More is More Important than "Seeing" Accurately!
Hi,
Seeing more is more important than seeing accurately!
It is difficult for us to decide whether what we perceived is accurate or not. The only way is to see "more". The "extras" we see can provide evidence to prove the accuracy of our original perceptions.
In the NLP Practitioner Program, I urge you to verify and reduce your "Filters" (i.e. Presuppositions: values, beliefs, rules, attitudes) and to extend your VAK Frames in order to see more.
In the Master NLP Practitioner Program, I encourage you to see more by recognizing your meta-programs, mental models and by seeing at the Meta-Level.
In Systemic Thinking Course, I motivate you to see more by seeing/thinking synthetically, multi-dimensionally, expansionally and in a multiple causes & effect manner.
I watched a TV program yesterday night. It is a sci-fiction. It is in the year of 200,000, the media is broadcasting news that they want the people to see. They even make up news so as to fool the people and stop them from thinking. The result is the intelligence level of the people dropped seriously.
It is not sci-fiction. It happens today. See more by yourself, not by someone else!
Keith
Seeing more is more important than seeing accurately!
It is difficult for us to decide whether what we perceived is accurate or not. The only way is to see "more". The "extras" we see can provide evidence to prove the accuracy of our original perceptions.
In the NLP Practitioner Program, I urge you to verify and reduce your "Filters" (i.e. Presuppositions: values, beliefs, rules, attitudes) and to extend your VAK Frames in order to see more.
In the Master NLP Practitioner Program, I encourage you to see more by recognizing your meta-programs, mental models and by seeing at the Meta-Level.
In Systemic Thinking Course, I motivate you to see more by seeing/thinking synthetically, multi-dimensionally, expansionally and in a multiple causes & effect manner.
I watched a TV program yesterday night. It is a sci-fiction. It is in the year of 200,000, the media is broadcasting news that they want the people to see. They even make up news so as to fool the people and stop them from thinking. The result is the intelligence level of the people dropped seriously.
It is not sci-fiction. It happens today. See more by yourself, not by someone else!
Keith
Learning Attitude of People in Macau and Mainland China, Part 2
Hi,
I wrote the Part 1 of this article a few day ago.
There are many feedbacks, some by emails, some on my blog.
I like to clarify one single thing. I am not saying that the learning attitude of all the people in Hong Kong is not good. It is just a matter of trend.
When they are becoming very eager to learn while we are not keeping up, we are at our competitive disadvantage. It is hard to admit someone is better than us. But this is the beginning of excelling ourselves.
Keith
I wrote the Part 1 of this article a few day ago.
There are many feedbacks, some by emails, some on my blog.
I like to clarify one single thing. I am not saying that the learning attitude of all the people in Hong Kong is not good. It is just a matter of trend.
When they are becoming very eager to learn while we are not keeping up, we are at our competitive disadvantage. It is hard to admit someone is better than us. But this is the beginning of excelling ourselves.
Keith
2006/03/27
My New Book: 羸一場人生
Hi,
I am so happy that my 5th book - 羸一場人生 is out earlier this month!
Again, this book is co-authored with my partner, Mr. John Lau.
Below is what this book talking about:
有些人贏了事業，但輸了家庭﹔
有些人贏了金錢，但輸了健康﹔
有些人贏了自尊，但輸了親情﹔
有些人贏了掌聲，但輸了自我﹔
有些人贏了名譽，但輸了自由﹔
有些人贏了此刻，但輸了永恆﹔
有些人……………………………
可曾問過自己，到底贏了什麼﹖
「宇宙」（ Cosmo ）這個詞語，在古希臘文中是解作「秩序」和「規律」的意思，宇宙萬物都是依循已安排好的秩序規律運行。生命教練能夠助您「發現」其他人看不到的現存的自然規律，能夠助您「預見」即將發生的規律，然後「順應」這些規律，指引您更容易透視自己的生命，掌握自己的命運。兩位作者正是擔當您的生命教練，讓您掌握最重要的助人技巧。如果藉本書某一個章節、某一段文字或故事來牽引儲存於您心內的記憶，令您再次發現這些可能早已遺忘了的規律，從而繼續思考關於生命的問題，這就是本書最大的成就﹗
Keith
I am so happy that my 5th book - 羸一場人生 is out earlier this month!
Again, this book is co-authored with my partner, Mr. John Lau.
Below is what this book talking about:
有些人贏了事業，但輸了家庭﹔
有些人贏了金錢，但輸了健康﹔
有些人贏了自尊，但輸了親情﹔
有些人贏了掌聲，但輸了自我﹔
有些人贏了名譽，但輸了自由﹔
有些人贏了此刻，但輸了永恆﹔
有些人……………………………
可曾問過自己，到底贏了什麼﹖
「宇宙」（ Cosmo ）這個詞語，在古希臘文中是解作「秩序」和「規律」的意思，宇宙萬物都是依循已安排好的秩序規律運行。生命教練能夠助您「發現」其他人看不到的現存的自然規律，能夠助您「預見」即將發生的規律，然後「順應」這些規律，指引您更容易透視自己的生命，掌握自己的命運。兩位作者正是擔當您的生命教練，讓您掌握最重要的助人技巧。如果藉本書某一個章節、某一段文字或故事來牽引儲存於您心內的記憶，令您再次發現這些可能早已遺忘了的規律，從而繼續思考關於生命的問題，這就是本書最大的成就﹗
Keith
Learning Attitude of People in Mainland China and Macau
Hi,
I started the first NLP Practitioner Program in Macau last year, and in Mainland China this year.
I am surprised and impressed by their participation and their attitude in learning. This might be one of the reasons of the rise of their economy.
They actively ask questions and involve in discussion. They think through what they learned even after classes. They are so eager to seek knowledge instead of just qualification.
You might argue that those who can aford the program are senior people, high-incomed group. Yes, nearly all of them are either senior management or business owners. This makes another point. It might be their attitude in learning that makes them senior and wealthy.
Those who are hungry for knowledge and really learn get good returns. This is just a fact of life.
This finding inspires me. Macau and those major cities in China will sooner or later get ahead of us. This can happen really fast if they keep on learning.
We, in Hong Kong also study very hard. But studying is different from learning. We seem to be interested in qualification more than in knowledge. Many people study, but not learn!
In the 60's, 70's and the 80's, the atmosphere for studying as not as keen as today. But the atmosphere for learning was much higher. People seeked learning opportunties everywhere. This created so many great, capable people but without much qualification. They laid down the foundation of our rapid growth in economy.
We can maintain or even enhance our competitive edge for another 10, 20 or more years in the future, if we keep the spirit of our fathers' and mothers' spirit of learning.
Learn but not just study!
Keith
I started the first NLP Practitioner Program in Macau last year, and in Mainland China this year.
I am surprised and impressed by their participation and their attitude in learning. This might be one of the reasons of the rise of their economy.
They actively ask questions and involve in discussion. They think through what they learned even after classes. They are so eager to seek knowledge instead of just qualification.
You might argue that those who can aford the program are senior people, high-incomed group. Yes, nearly all of them are either senior management or business owners. This makes another point. It might be their attitude in learning that makes them senior and wealthy.
Those who are hungry for knowledge and really learn get good returns. This is just a fact of life.
This finding inspires me. Macau and those major cities in China will sooner or later get ahead of us. This can happen really fast if they keep on learning.
We, in Hong Kong also study very hard. But studying is different from learning. We seem to be interested in qualification more than in knowledge. Many people study, but not learn!
In the 60's, 70's and the 80's, the atmosphere for studying as not as keen as today. But the atmosphere for learning was much higher. People seeked learning opportunties everywhere. This created so many great, capable people but without much qualification. They laid down the foundation of our rapid growth in economy.
We can maintain or even enhance our competitive edge for another 10, 20 or more years in the future, if we keep the spirit of our fathers' and mothers' spirit of learning.
Learn but not just study!
Keith
2006/03/23
Are You a Human, an Animal, or a Plant?
Hi,
Strange headline? Yes!
But please consider it - are you behaving like a Human, an Animal or a Plant?
A Human can adapt to the changes in environment, while an Animal can only do some adjustments, and a Plant can just regulate itself hoping it can survive the changes.
How you respond to changes?
Being a Human can behave differently!
Keith
Strange headline? Yes!
But please consider it - are you behaving like a Human, an Animal or a Plant?
A Human can adapt to the changes in environment, while an Animal can only do some adjustments, and a Plant can just regulate itself hoping it can survive the changes.
How you respond to changes?
Being a Human can behave differently!
Keith
2006/03/20
Learning from Life #56 - 60
Hi,
Here is another part of my "Learning from Life" Series.
56. Attacking others to get what you want will eventually being attacked back.
57. Things will go back to you, but can be with delays. (There is a 4 years' delay: Someone is hitted by the same gun he got by killing a good cop!)
58. Be careful when someone tells you that he/she is telling the truth!
59. Each step I take towards my goal will brings me nearer to it.
60. The best learning is learning myself by myself.
Keith
Here is another part of my "Learning from Life" Series.
56. Attacking others to get what you want will eventually being attacked back.
57. Things will go back to you, but can be with delays. (There is a 4 years' delay: Someone is hitted by the same gun he got by killing a good cop!)
58. Be careful when someone tells you that he/she is telling the truth!
59. Each step I take towards my goal will brings me nearer to it.
60. The best learning is learning myself by myself.
Keith
2006/03/16
Difference Between Radiant & Expansionist Thinking
Hi,
In Session 1 of the Systemic Thinking Course a few days ago, one participant asked me the different between Radiant Thinking and Expansionist Thinking.
Radiant Thinking is the kind of thinking when we do mind-mapping. Expansionist Thinking is the basic philosophy of Systemic Thinking.
In both types of thinking, we can start from a single central point and then we think "out" from that single point. In Radiant Thinking, you first "see" the relationship between 2 points before you think of the second point.
In Expansionist Thinking, you do not care about the relationship first. You just "expand" your view to include more points. Then you see whether there are relationship amongst these points.
Which one is better? You decide yourself!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
In Session 1 of the Systemic Thinking Course a few days ago, one participant asked me the different between Radiant Thinking and Expansionist Thinking.
Radiant Thinking is the kind of thinking when we do mind-mapping. Expansionist Thinking is the basic philosophy of Systemic Thinking.
In both types of thinking, we can start from a single central point and then we think "out" from that single point. In Radiant Thinking, you first "see" the relationship between 2 points before you think of the second point.
In Expansionist Thinking, you do not care about the relationship first. You just "expand" your view to include more points. Then you see whether there are relationship amongst these points.
Which one is better? You decide yourself!
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
2006/03/15
Hypnosis: Hypnosis is about Changes Part 3
Hi,
This is Part 3 of my article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".
As mentioned in Part 1, hypnotherapist facilitating changes can be done at the Cause/Factors, Problem(s) or the Symptoms Levels. I talked about the Symptoms Level in Part 2. It is easiest at the Symptoms Level. We do it by giving Post-Hypnotic Suggestions. But the problem is it seldom really work!
In this Part 3, I am going to talk about the Sources Level.
Every problem has an ultimate cause, which can be physical, psychological or emotional. We cannot do much about the cause if it is physical and psychological. It is the job of medical doctors or clinical psychologists respectively. Being a hypnotherapist, we can work on emotional causes.
There can be a lot of causes for a problem. The best leverage is to work on the ultimate cause, or the original cause - the "Source" of the problem. So, this level is better called the "Source Level" to reduce mis-understandings.
The "Source" can be happened years ago, or just in last week. The "Source" can be some bad experiences in the past. When the "Source" is settled, the problem is then resolved automatically.
We can use all kinds of Regression Therapy, like Inner Regression (in Certified Hypnotherapist Level) or Age Regression (in Master Hypnotherapist Level). We assist the client to go back to the time of the "Source", re-view it and re-understand it. It is the new understandings that heal!
Regression Therapy can be a painful, but fruitful process. If you are not well-trained for it, keep out of it! One can hurt the client even more by mis-using these skills.
When clients get new understanding about the "Source", they changed the "old" beliefs related to the "Source" and then to the "Problem". Our old beliefs must be replaced with new beliefs before changes can be taken place. We cannot "not" believe/do something old, we must believe/do something new instead! So we always ask our clients for positive messages, new learnings or understandings upon completion of the regression therapy.
Skillful hypnotherapists will convert these positive messages, new learnings and understandings into Post-Hypnotic Suggestions.
Why clients can always get positive messages, new learnings and understandings after successful regression therapy? It is because there are some critical elements in any good regression therapies:
1. Clients reexperience the whole thing again. They release the repressed emotions so that they can "see" the experience clearer.
2. Clients have the chance to "disscoiate" from him/herself during the process, so that they can "see" the experience in a more objective perspective.
3. Clients can "see" what happened before, during and after the experience again. They have the time to "see" what they had missed when it happened in the past.
4. Clients can "go" into the minds of the related other people. This makes clients not only understand better the case, but the thinking of related people.
5. Therapists have a systematic process to request the clients for the positive messages, new learnings and understandings. This process assits clients for a better understanding.
Inner Communication is another tool for the "Source" Level. This enables the clients to finish the "unfinished" business with someone else in the past. This process works when the "Source" is an unfinished business. Of course, when you still angry with someone after years, this is an unfinished business.
I will discuss with you the "Factors Level" in Part 4 of this series later.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
催眠是關於改變的 第三部分 – 起因 (Source)
這是我的 『催眠是關於改變的』系列，第三篇短文。
正如第一部分所提及，催眠治療師可以從起因/因素，問題或表徵層面上促進改變。我也在第二部分提及過，在表徵層面介入是比較容易，而運用的技術是後暗示。但這問題是很少機會能夠達到效果。
在第三部分，我會談談根源層面。
每個 『問題』都有最根本的起因，它可以是關於物理，心理或是情感。如果起因是關於物理和心理上的問題，我們並不能介入，它是醫生或是臨床心理學家的工作；作為一個催眠治療師，我們可以研究情感上的起因。
『問題』可以有多個起因 (Causes)，研究最根本或是最初的起因是最大的槓桿－ 『問題』的根源。為了減少誤解，因此，這層面稱為『根源層面』。
『根源』(Sources)，可以發生在很多年前，或只是幾個星期內；『根源』 (Sources)，可以是過去的一些不好經歷。當『根源』已處理好，『問題』便會自動地被解決。
我們可以使用各種各樣的回溯治療，如『內在回溯』（註冊催眠治療師課程），『年齡回溯』（Master Hypnotherapist）。我們協助客戶回溯到『根源』的時期，再重新審視它，再重新理解，它就是治癒的新理解。回溯治療可以是相當辛苦的，但卻是卓有成效的過程，如果你不是訓練有素，最好敬而遠之！因為你可能誤用這個具有難度的技術，而傷害到客戶。
當客戶從『根源』中得到新的理解時，有關於『根源』和所導致的『問題』之『舊有信念』都能因此而改變。在改變發生前，我們需要用『新信念』來取代『舊信念』，我們不能『不』相信 / 『不』做一些原有的事情，我們必定是相信/做一些新的事來取代！因此，在回溯治療中，我們總會要求客戶一些正面訊息，新的體會和新的理解。
熟練的催眠治療師，會運用這些正面訊息，新體會和新理解作為催眠後暗示。
為甚麼成功的回溯治療後，客戶能夠從中得到正面訊息，新體會和新理解？
這是因為每個成功的回溯治療中，都有些關鍵性因素。
1. 客戶再重新經歷整件事情：他們釋放了被壓抑的情緒，所以他們能清析地『審視』經歷。
2. 在過程中，客戶能夠『抽離』：因此，他們更能客觀，不偏不倚地『審視』這經歷。
3. 客戶能再經歷事情，來『審視』在事情發生之前，之間和之後的情景：他們可以『看到』過去所發生的事情，有甚麼是看漏了的。
4. 客戶能『進入』其他有關人等的思想（客戶心裡的內在次人格）：這不僅令客戶更瞭解事件，同時又能瞭解相關人等的想法，（客戶之內在次人格思維，因而他能對自己獲取更充份的理解）
5. 治療師有一個有系統的過程，來要求客戶取得正面訊息，新體會和新理解：這個過程能協助客戶得到較大程度的理解。
當『根源』是一件未完成的事，運用內在溝通是為了解決『根源層面』的另一個工具，它能使客戶完成一些過去與某些人有關的『未完成』事件，（這也是客戶的內在次人格），當你在事過境遷以後，你仍在惱怒某人，這就可能是一件未完成事件。
我將會與你在這系列中的第四部分，談論『因素層面』。
This is Part 3 of my article series of "Hypnosis is about Changes".
As mentioned in Part 1, hypnotherapist facilitating changes can be done at the Cause/Factors, Problem(s) or the Symptoms Levels. I talked about the Symptoms Level in Part 2. It is easiest at the Symptoms Level. We do it by giving Post-Hypnotic Suggestions. But the problem is it seldom really work!
In this Part 3, I am going to talk about the Sources Level.
Every problem has an ultimate cause, which can be physical, psychological or emotional. We cannot do much about the cause if it is physical and psychological. It is the job of medical doctors or clinical psychologists respectively. Being a hypnotherapist, we can work on emotional causes.
There can be a lot of causes for a problem. The best leverage is to work on the ultimate cause, or the original cause - the "Source" of the problem. So, this level is better called the "Source Level" to reduce mis-understandings.
The "Source" can be happened years ago, or just in last week. The "Source" can be some bad experiences in the past. When the "Source" is settled, the problem is then resolved automatically.
We can use all kinds of Regression Therapy, like Inner Regression (in Certified Hypnotherapist Level) or Age Regression (in Master Hypnotherapist Level). We assist the client to go back to the time of the "Source", re-view it and re-understand it. It is the new understandings that heal!
Regression Therapy can be a painful, but fruitful process. If you are not well-trained for it, keep out of it! One can hurt the client even more by mis-using these skills.
When clients get new understanding about the "Source", they changed the "old" beliefs related to the "Source" and then to the "Problem". Our old beliefs must be replaced with new beliefs before changes can be taken place. We cannot "not" believe/do something old, we must believe/do something new instead! So we always ask our clients for positive messages, new learnings or understandings upon completion of the regression therapy.
Skillful hypnotherapists will convert these positive messages, new learnings and understandings into Post-Hypnotic Suggestions.
Why clients can always get positive messages, new learnings and understandings after successful regression therapy? It is because there are some critical elements in any good regression therapies:
1. Clients reexperience the whole thing again. They release the repressed emotions so that they can "see" the experience clearer.
2. Clients have the chance to "disscoiate" from him/herself during the process, so that they can "see" the experience in a more objective perspective.
3. Clients can "see" what happened before, during and after the experience again. They have the time to "see" what they had missed when it happened in the past.
4. Clients can "go" into the minds of the related other people. This makes clients not only understand better the case, but the thinking of related people.
5. Therapists have a systematic process to request the clients for the positive messages, new learnings and understandings. This process assits clients for a better understanding.
Inner Communication is another tool for the "Source" Level. This enables the clients to finish the "unfinished" business with someone else in the past. This process works when the "Source" is an unfinished business. Of course, when you still angry with someone after years, this is an unfinished business.
I will discuss with you the "Factors Level" in Part 4 of this series later.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
催眠是關於改變的 第三部分 – 起因 (Source)
這是我的 『催眠是關於改變的』系列，第三篇短文。
正如第一部分所提及，催眠治療師可以從起因/因素，問題或表徵層面上促進改變。我也在第二部分提及過，在表徵層面介入是比較容易，而運用的技術是後暗示。但這問題是很少機會能夠達到效果。
在第三部分，我會談談根源層面。
每個 『問題』都有最根本的起因，它可以是關於物理，心理或是情感。如果起因是關於物理和心理上的問題，我們並不能介入，它是醫生或是臨床心理學家的工作；作為一個催眠治療師，我們可以研究情感上的起因。
『問題』可以有多個起因 (Causes)，研究最根本或是最初的起因是最大的槓桿－ 『問題』的根源。為了減少誤解，因此，這層面稱為『根源層面』。
『根源』(Sources)，可以發生在很多年前，或只是幾個星期內；『根源』 (Sources)，可以是過去的一些不好經歷。當『根源』已處理好，『問題』便會自動地被解決。
我們可以使用各種各樣的回溯治療，如『內在回溯』（註冊催眠治療師課程），『年齡回溯』（Master Hypnotherapist）。我們協助客戶回溯到『根源』的時期，再重新審視它，再重新理解，它就是治癒的新理解。回溯治療可以是相當辛苦的，但卻是卓有成效的過程，如果你不是訓練有素，最好敬而遠之！因為你可能誤用這個具有難度的技術，而傷害到客戶。
當客戶從『根源』中得到新的理解時，有關於『根源』和所導致的『問題』之『舊有信念』都能因此而改變。在改變發生前，我們需要用『新信念』來取代『舊信念』，我們不能『不』相信 / 『不』做一些原有的事情，我們必定是相信/做一些新的事來取代！因此，在回溯治療中，我們總會要求客戶一些正面訊息，新的體會和新的理解。
熟練的催眠治療師，會運用這些正面訊息，新體會和新理解作為催眠後暗示。
為甚麼成功的回溯治療後，客戶能夠從中得到正面訊息，新體會和新理解？
這是因為每個成功的回溯治療中，都有些關鍵性因素。
1. 客戶再重新經歷整件事情：他們釋放了被壓抑的情緒，所以他們能清析地『審視』經歷。
2. 在過程中，客戶能夠『抽離』：因此，他們更能客觀，不偏不倚地『審視』這經歷。
3. 客戶能再經歷事情，來『審視』在事情發生之前，之間和之後的情景：他們可以『看到』過去所發生的事情，有甚麼是看漏了的。
4. 客戶能『進入』其他有關人等的思想（客戶心裡的內在次人格）：這不僅令客戶更瞭解事件，同時又能瞭解相關人等的想法，（客戶之內在次人格思維，因而他能對自己獲取更充份的理解）
5. 治療師有一個有系統的過程，來要求客戶取得正面訊息，新體會和新理解：這個過程能協助客戶得到較大程度的理解。
當『根源』是一件未完成的事，運用內在溝通是為了解決『根源層面』的另一個工具，它能使客戶完成一些過去與某些人有關的『未完成』事件，（這也是客戶的內在次人格），當你在事過境遷以後，你仍在惱怒某人，這就可能是一件未完成事件。
我將會與你在這系列中的第四部分，談論『因素層面』。
2006/03/12
Using "Help" Command in Life
Hi,
I wrote the "Using DOS to Help You Think" article a few days ago. Quite some people emailed me for more. Here is my another thought:
We can always ask for help, if we are in need. But we must know how to do so before you get the "right" help.
In DOS, when you type in "HELP" in the command line, it returns with the explanation of ALL the commands. If you do not know where you are, these "Helps" are useless!
When asking for help, know where you are first. Then you can easily selected from the advises of others. People gives you various kinds of advises, some are even contradictory, because they are standing in different "locations" of your problem.
Not what you want, but where you are, are more important when asking and evaluating for advises!
Keith
I wrote the "Using DOS to Help You Think" article a few days ago. Quite some people emailed me for more. Here is my another thought:
We can always ask for help, if we are in need. But we must know how to do so before you get the "right" help.
In DOS, when you type in "HELP" in the command line, it returns with the explanation of ALL the commands. If you do not know where you are, these "Helps" are useless!
When asking for help, know where you are first. Then you can easily selected from the advises of others. People gives you various kinds of advises, some are even contradictory, because they are standing in different "locations" of your problem.
Not what you want, but where you are, are more important when asking and evaluating for advises!
Keith
2006/03/08
Using DOS to Help You Think
Hi,
DOS is the first operating system for PC. It goes back all the way to the 80's. I always think DOS is the best operating system for PC. It is fast as it is nearest to the sourcecode.
Thinking is like computing. You can make use of the DOS commands to help you think. Here are some great "commands" for your mind:
1. DELETE: Erase what is not neccessary.
2. CLS: Clear the screen and start thinking again, if you are too confused.
3. COMP: Compare how others doing it. You always get some insights, no matter others is doing great or bad.
4. COPY: Copy what's working. You can copy from your past or from others. Always COMP before COPY, or you might copy something useless or outdated.
5. HELP: Seek help from others if you are still stuck!
Keith
DOS is the first operating system for PC. It goes back all the way to the 80's. I always think DOS is the best operating system for PC. It is fast as it is nearest to the sourcecode.
Thinking is like computing. You can make use of the DOS commands to help you think. Here are some great "commands" for your mind:
1. DELETE: Erase what is not neccessary.
2. CLS: Clear the screen and start thinking again, if you are too confused.
3. COMP: Compare how others doing it. You always get some insights, no matter others is doing great or bad.
4. COPY: Copy what's working. You can copy from your past or from others. Always COMP before COPY, or you might copy something useless or outdated.
5. HELP: Seek help from others if you are still stuck!
Keith
2006/03/04
1,499 New Ideas in 2 Hours
Hi,
I conducted the first session of the Think-Tank 2006 Program in last Wednesday. My goal is to generate a total of 1,999 ideas in 3 2-Hours sessions this year.
But just in our first session, we produced 1,499 ideas, in 2 hours, by 64 participants. That is 23.4 ideas per person. By the way, they did all that just in 50 minutes. We were doing de-briefing in the the rest of the time. Don't you think that this is a encouraging results!
There are 2 findings in our first session:
1. Treat every idea a seperate idea. This prevents limitation of your thoughts from the previous ideas.
2. We need triggers for new ideas. Ideas are not coming out of nothing.
We are going to have our second session on July 5 2006. If you want to join us, email me at keithto@excelcentre.net so that I can remind you in June.
Why do I organize these free sessions?
I believe that creativity can only be possible when we actually stretch our creativity muscles!
Keith
I conducted the first session of the Think-Tank 2006 Program in last Wednesday. My goal is to generate a total of 1,999 ideas in 3 2-Hours sessions this year.
But just in our first session, we produced 1,499 ideas, in 2 hours, by 64 participants. That is 23.4 ideas per person. By the way, they did all that just in 50 minutes. We were doing de-briefing in the the rest of the time. Don't you think that this is a encouraging results!
There are 2 findings in our first session:
1. Treat every idea a seperate idea. This prevents limitation of your thoughts from the previous ideas.
2. We need triggers for new ideas. Ideas are not coming out of nothing.
We are going to have our second session on July 5 2006. If you want to join us, email me at keithto@excelcentre.net so that I can remind you in June.
Why do I organize these free sessions?
I believe that creativity can only be possible when we actually stretch our creativity muscles!
Keith
2006/02/28
Some Learning from Class of NLP Essentials 2006 Module 1
Hi,
I have just done the NLP Essentials 2006 Program Module 1 yesterday's evening. Just like every other time in all of my trainings I delivered, I learned from our classmates. Here are some inspiring ones I gained in this module:
1. Success is NOT being Happy. Being happy is the result of success.
2. Both adding good stuff and/or removing bad stuff can help.
3. Bad experience can be composed of many, many individual incidences. This makes them so difficult to change. But when you try to name all of the incidences, you just can't tell so many. We sometimes over-estimate our bad experiences!
4. In Chinese, the word "體驗" implies using our 'Body" to "Experiment". That means we must act to learn. But so many of us is not doing "體驗", but just "睇驗". We just want to watch to learn!
5. When you want something, at least ask for it! I don't mean that we should be lazy by doing nothing. But asking is also a kind of doing.
Keith
I have just done the NLP Essentials 2006 Program Module 1 yesterday's evening. Just like every other time in all of my trainings I delivered, I learned from our classmates. Here are some inspiring ones I gained in this module:
1. Success is NOT being Happy. Being happy is the result of success.
2. Both adding good stuff and/or removing bad stuff can help.
3. Bad experience can be composed of many, many individual incidences. This makes them so difficult to change. But when you try to name all of the incidences, you just can't tell so many. We sometimes over-estimate our bad experiences!
4. In Chinese, the word "體驗" implies using our 'Body" to "Experiment". That means we must act to learn. But so many of us is not doing "體驗", but just "睇驗". We just want to watch to learn!
5. When you want something, at least ask for it! I don't mean that we should be lazy by doing nothing. But asking is also a kind of doing.
Keith
2006/02/27
Personal Development: Learning from Life #51 - #55
Hi,
Here is another part of my learning from life in the past few weeks:
51. It is hard to change, and life is even harder if we don't change.
52. People don't like to hear the truth, and they do not like to hear the untrue either.
53. They like to hear the truth, with something untrue inside.
54. People want more even they might already having too much.
55. Destroy what you are doing before someone destroy it.
Keith
Here is another part of my learning from life in the past few weeks:
51. It is hard to change, and life is even harder if we don't change.
52. People don't like to hear the truth, and they do not like to hear the untrue either.
53. They like to hear the truth, with something untrue inside.
54. People want more even they might already having too much.
55. Destroy what you are doing before someone destroy it.
Keith
2006/02/17
What You Give, Returns
Hi,
I posted the above message in last October. One of our friends recently send in his/her response as follows:
Hi Dr. If that's the case, then why do so many good people have bad lives and so many bad people seem to have good lives? I'm honestly curious.
I think that this is a good question, so I post my reply here:
Good question. There are so many reasons. Talk to a buddist monk, he might give you even more insights.
Here are some of "my" reasons:
1. Good and bad people is a generalization. Does a good person does everything good?
2. Intention is another issue. The intention of doing something good or bad makes a difference.
3. Time is also another factor. In systems thinking, "delays" are something very common.
4. Things come back as opportunities. If one does not sieze the opportunities coming to him/her, nothing good can be happened.
5. Focus is another issue. There are so many bad people getting bad results and good people getting good results. Focus on these poeple and count, you will be delighted to find good things do happen to good people and our prisons are so fully occupied.
6. "What you give, returns" is a belief that makes me keeping on giving. I choose to believe in this.
Keith
I posted the above message in last October. One of our friends recently send in his/her response as follows:
Hi Dr. If that's the case, then why do so many good people have bad lives and so many bad people seem to have good lives? I'm honestly curious.
I think that this is a good question, so I post my reply here:
Good question. There are so many reasons. Talk to a buddist monk, he might give you even more insights.
Here are some of "my" reasons:
1. Good and bad people is a generalization. Does a good person does everything good?
2. Intention is another issue. The intention of doing something good or bad makes a difference.
3. Time is also another factor. In systems thinking, "delays" are something very common.
4. Things come back as opportunities. If one does not sieze the opportunities coming to him/her, nothing good can be happened.
5. Focus is another issue. There are so many bad people getting bad results and good people getting good results. Focus on these poeple and count, you will be delighted to find good things do happen to good people and our prisons are so fully occupied.
6. "What you give, returns" is a belief that makes me keeping on giving. I choose to believe in this.
Keith
2006/02/15
Coaching: It's OK Not to Understand
Hi,
I started the Da Vinci Notes Emailing for several months. My plan is to post one Da Vinci's Notes with my own ideas each day.
I stopped doing so since Jan 7 2006. I was totally stucked by his notes #55. I just couldn't understand what he intended to say.I stucked for 1.5 months.
I never tell others about my stuck. Yesterday, I talked to one of my best friends about this. Then suddenly, an idea came out of my mind - it's OK not to understand! Then I proceeded the emailing of Da Vinci Notes yesterday.
My Learning:
1. My friend had done nothing. When you are stuck, voice it out, or you are going to become even more stuck!
2. Why should anyone in the world understand everything? Everyone is learning and it's is really too OK not to understand something!
3. Just like doing coaching, the less we do/say, the more space for thinking the clients have.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
P.S. If you still want to receive my Da Vinci Notes + My Ideas, send a blank email to Da Vinci Notes Emailing Service.
Updated & Revised on Sept 14 2007
I started the Da Vinci Notes Emailing for several months. My plan is to post one Da Vinci's Notes with my own ideas each day.
I stopped doing so since Jan 7 2006. I was totally stucked by his notes #55. I just couldn't understand what he intended to say.I stucked for 1.5 months.
I never tell others about my stuck. Yesterday, I talked to one of my best friends about this. Then suddenly, an idea came out of my mind - it's OK not to understand! Then I proceeded the emailing of Da Vinci Notes yesterday.
My Learning:
1. My friend had done nothing. When you are stuck, voice it out, or you are going to become even more stuck!
2. Why should anyone in the world understand everything? Everyone is learning and it's is really too OK not to understand something!
3. Just like doing coaching, the less we do/say, the more space for thinking the clients have.
Keith
Explore, Exceed & Excel
P.S. If you still want to receive my Da Vinci Notes + My Ideas, send a blank email to Da Vinci Notes Emailing Service.
Updated & Revised on Sept 14 2007
2006/02/01
Personal Development: Failogy
Hi,
Failure is great and failure is sweet.
We are so fear of failure that we freeze when facing changes!
I started a website, www.failogy.com to introduce the concept of failing smart a few months ago. I am writing the 48 Principles of Failogy. I have just updated it and now there are 30 Principles.
If you want to learn more about Failing, Failure and Failogy, go to www.failogy.com now to take a look.
I like to request for some help. Please kindly give me your ideas about failure, failogy and the 30 Principles of Failogy so that I can share with all our friends. Just email me your ideas at keithto@keithto.com.
Thanks a lot!
Keith
Failure is great and failure is sweet.
We are so fear of failure that we freeze when facing changes!
I started a website, www.failogy.com to introduce the concept of failing smart a few months ago. I am writing the 48 Principles of Failogy. I have just updated it and now there are 30 Principles.
If you want to learn more about Failing, Failure and Failogy, go to www.failogy.com now to take a look.
I like to request for some help. Please kindly give me your ideas about failure, failogy and the 30 Principles of Failogy so that I can share with all our friends. Just email me your ideas at keithto@keithto.com.
Thanks a lot!
Keith
Coaching: Does Coach Give Advise?
Hi,
This is an old question. Some say yes and some say no.
My opinion is "no".
If we coaches give advises, then what is the difference between a coach and a consultant and/or trainer?
Many authorities in our field will tell you to give advises when your clients ask you to do so. Their rationale is that when our clients need advises, it is then our responsibility to give.
I just can't agree with this.
Your clients will surely need advises if you are willing to give. Everyone wants shortcuts to their problems. "Everyone" includes clients and coaches.
Coaches give advises only because they want to give.
It seems to be easier for coaches when they can't help their clients to find their own answers. Advises just block the clients' way for their own answers. Coaching minimizes dependence because we do not give advises. We "train" our clients to uncover their own, and to think wider and deeper. Giving advises reduces the width and the depth of clients' thinking. It hurts in a long run than help!
It is our profession to help others through questioning, just like a teacher helps his/her students through teaching. Could a teacher sit in the examination for his/her students simply because he/she can't teach them to be successful in learning?
Coaching has its limitations. When we can't help our clients through coaching, we can then discuss with them to seek other professional services in order to solve their problem, or refer them to a coach who can help them better.
Do I give advise to my clients? Yes, when it is an emergence. When my clients is going to hurt themselves or others, when they are going to do something illegal, I will advise them to think again!
In many scenorios, coaching can't help much. But I still respect my profession. I do what I suppose to do!
Keith
This is an old question. Some say yes and some say no.
My opinion is "no".
If we coaches give advises, then what is the difference between a coach and a consultant and/or trainer?
Many authorities in our field will tell you to give advises when your clients ask you to do so. Their rationale is that when our clients need advises, it is then our responsibility to give.
I just can't agree with this.
Your clients will surely need advises if you are willing to give. Everyone wants shortcuts to their problems. "Everyone" includes clients and coaches.
Coaches give advises only because they want to give.
It seems to be easier for coaches when they can't help their clients to find their own answers. Advises just block the clients' way for their own answers. Coaching minimizes dependence because we do not give advises. We "train" our clients to uncover their own, and to think wider and deeper. Giving advises reduces the width and the depth of clients' thinking. It hurts in a long run than help!
It is our profession to help others through questioning, just like a teacher helps his/her students through teaching. Could a teacher sit in the examination for his/her students simply because he/she can't teach them to be successful in learning?
Coaching has its limitations. When we can't help our clients through coaching, we can then discuss with them to seek other professional services in order to solve their problem, or refer them to a coach who can help them better.
Do I give advise to my clients? Yes, when it is an emergence. When my clients is going to hurt themselves or others, when they are going to do something illegal, I will advise them to think again!
In many scenorios, coaching can't help much. But I still respect my profession. I do what I suppose to do!
Keith
2006/01/28
Hypnosis: Hypnosis is about Changes Part 2
Hi,
This is Part 2 of my series of Hypnosis is about Changes.
As mentioned in Part 1, hypnotherapist facilitating changes can be done at the Cause/Factors, Problem(s) or the Symptoms Levels. The easiest is the Symptoms Level. We do it by giving Post-Hypnotic Suggestions.
The problem using suggestions is it seldom really works.
When the symptoms are being removed by suggestions and the "Problem(s)" still exist, it can simply generate another symptom or the same symptom later. But this can be effective under either of these two conditions:
1. You identified the true Motivation for the change needed and the Motivation is big enough.
2. The Symptom is just one of the many ways that can "stablize" the "Problem". It is NOT the Only and/or Key way to do so.
For Condition 1, true motivation can seldom be identified in Conscious Mind (when client is awake). They are usually buried in the Sibconscious Mind. To be effective, we use the motivations found in both mind to persuade both the conscious and the subconscious minds. We get such information of the conscious mind during Pretalk while we can identify the motivation of the subconscious mind using techniques like, Inner Guide, Inner Healer, Communicate with the Disease Entity, Hypno-Analysis, Motivation Mapping, Hypnotic Uncovering Technique and the ES Therapy.
You can do nothing about Condition 2. Condition 1 is a matter of skills while Condition 2 is a matter of Luck!
Motivation is the key to effective hypnotic suggestions. So, we formulate our Main Suggestion using the format of "Changes because Motivation".
When you can't help the clients to improve at the "Symptom(s) Level", go to the higher levels. The higher levels can be more effective, but need greater skills and might invlove more pains to the clients!
I will talk more about the "Cause Level" in Part 3.
Keith
This is Part 2 of my series of Hypnosis is about Changes.
As mentioned in Part 1, hypnotherapist facilitating changes can be done at the Cause/Factors, Problem(s) or the Symptoms Levels. The easiest is the Symptoms Level. We do it by giving Post-Hypnotic Suggestions.
The problem using suggestions is it seldom really works.
When the symptoms are being removed by suggestions and the "Problem(s)" still exist, it can simply generate another symptom or the same symptom later. But this can be effective under either of these two conditions:
1. You identified the true Motivation for the change needed and the Motivation is big enough.
2. The Symptom is just one of the many ways that can "stablize" the "Problem". It is NOT the Only and/or Key way to do so.
For Condition 1, true motivation can seldom be identified in Conscious Mind (when client is awake). They are usually buried in the Sibconscious Mind. To be effective, we use the motivations found in both mind to persuade both the conscious and the subconscious minds. We get such information of the conscious mind during Pretalk while we can identify the motivation of the subconscious mind using techniques like, Inner Guide, Inner Healer, Communicate with the Disease Entity, Hypno-Analysis, Motivation Mapping, Hypnotic Uncovering Technique and the ES Therapy.
You can do nothing about Condition 2. Condition 1 is a matter of skills while Condition 2 is a matter of Luck!
Motivation is the key to effective hypnotic suggestions. So, we formulate our Main Suggestion using the format of "Changes because Motivation".
When you can't help the clients to improve at the "Symptom(s) Level", go to the higher levels. The higher levels can be more effective, but need greater skills and might invlove more pains to the clients!
I will talk more about the "Cause Level" in Part 3.
Keith
2006/01/26
Personal Development: Learning from Life #46 - #50
Hi,
Here is another part of my learning from life:
46. Forgiving is still the best way to get rid of the bad feeling when someone did something bad to you. I choose to forgive the one who did something bad to me that day.
47. People is neither good or bad. People is people!
48. The more senior someone is, the more he/she opens to learn.
49. It is not what happens to a person that is important. It is what he thinks about it.
50. It is not what happens to a person that is important. It is what he does about it.
Keith
Here is another part of my learning from life:
46. Forgiving is still the best way to get rid of the bad feeling when someone did something bad to you. I choose to forgive the one who did something bad to me that day.
47. People is neither good or bad. People is people!
48. The more senior someone is, the more he/she opens to learn.
49. It is not what happens to a person that is important. It is what he thinks about it.
50. It is not what happens to a person that is important. It is what he does about it.
Keith
2006/01/25
Hypnosis: Transference
Hi,
Transference is a problem faced by all helping professionals. This problem might not caused by you, but you can still be affected. No matter you are a therapist, coach, counsellor, trainer or even a manager.
If you don't understand this problem, you might find yourself confused or annoyed.
Your clients might project some positive qualities (you might not have them) onto you. This makes them thinking you are great. They like you or even love you. This is the Positive Transference. It seems good but all his/her perceptions about you are based on false assumptions. Sooner or later, they might "discover" the "truth" and then he/she might turn against you. He/she might attack you as they think you had cheated them, though you have done nothing all from the beginning. Your clients might even shifted into another form of Transference, the Negative Transference.
The Negative Transference is the opposite of the Positive Transference. They might project some negative qualities (again you might not have them) onto you. This makes them thinking you are bad, really bad.
You cannot do much about Transference. One of the precautions is to keep professional distance with your clients. But transference can still happen even though you take your precaution.
Just don't be happy too soon when you find your clients "like" you or don't be too upsetted when they "hate" you!
Keith
Transference is a problem faced by all helping professionals. This problem might not caused by you, but you can still be affected. No matter you are a therapist, coach, counsellor, trainer or even a manager.
If you don't understand this problem, you might find yourself confused or annoyed.
Your clients might project some positive qualities (you might not have them) onto you. This makes them thinking you are great. They like you or even love you. This is the Positive Transference. It seems good but all his/her perceptions about you are based on false assumptions. Sooner or later, they might "discover" the "truth" and then he/she might turn against you. He/she might attack you as they think you had cheated them, though you have done nothing all from the beginning. Your clients might even shifted into another form of Transference, the Negative Transference.
The Negative Transference is the opposite of the Positive Transference. They might project some negative qualities (again you might not have them) onto you. This makes them thinking you are bad, really bad.
You cannot do much about Transference. One of the precautions is to keep professional distance with your clients. But transference can still happen even though you take your precaution.
Just don't be happy too soon when you find your clients "like" you or don't be too upsetted when they "hate" you!
Keith
2006/01/19
Hypnosis: Hypnosis is About Changes Part 1
Hi,
I seldom write about hypnosis. So I decide to write several short articles about my concepts of hypnotherapy. This is Part 1 of the series.
Hypnosis is about changes. We want to change because we do not satisfy with something about ourselves. It can be a bad habit, an addiction, a weakness, or a psychosomatic disease. It is something we don't want, consciously. But we just can't get rid of it because there can be some sub-conscious reasons, Cause and/or Factors.
A Cause is something happened in the past that caused your "Problem". There must a cause to everything. This is simple logic. Factors are something that create the condition for your "Problem". You can change your "Problem" by working on your Cause and/or your Factors.
One thing you must bear in mind that your bad habit, an addiction, a weakness, or a psychosomatic disease is NOT your "Problem". It is just the Symptom or one of the Symptoms of your "Problem". Your "Problem" is that something behind the Symptoms. For example, people has an addiction to alcohol can be just a Symptom of feeling stressed (i.e. the "Problem"). If we just remove the Symptom, some other Symptom can appear (or the same Symptom reappears later) as the "Problem" is still there.
To summarize:
Cause -- Problem(s) -- Symptom(s)
Factor(s)
To successfully change, we can work on the Cause, the Factors, and/or the "Problem" itself. Well-trained Hypnotherapists work on either of these. (I am talkig about working on the "Problem", not removing it. If you remove the "Problem", the Cause will just create another "Problem". I will talk about it in greater details in later articles)
Keith
I seldom write about hypnosis. So I decide to write several short articles about my concepts of hypnotherapy. This is Part 1 of the series.
Hypnosis is about changes. We want to change because we do not satisfy with something about ourselves. It can be a bad habit, an addiction, a weakness, or a psychosomatic disease. It is something we don't want, consciously. But we just can't get rid of it because there can be some sub-conscious reasons, Cause and/or Factors.
A Cause is something happened in the past that caused your "Problem". There must a cause to everything. This is simple logic. Factors are something that create the condition for your "Problem". You can change your "Problem" by working on your Cause and/or your Factors.
One thing you must bear in mind that your bad habit, an addiction, a weakness, or a psychosomatic disease is NOT your "Problem". It is just the Symptom or one of the Symptoms of your "Problem". Your "Problem" is that something behind the Symptoms. For example, people has an addiction to alcohol can be just a Symptom of feeling stressed (i.e. the "Problem"). If we just remove the Symptom, some other Symptom can appear (or the same Symptom reappears later) as the "Problem" is still there.
To summarize:
Cause -- Problem(s) -- Symptom(s)
Factor(s)
To successfully change, we can work on the Cause, the Factors, and/or the "Problem" itself. Well-trained Hypnotherapists work on either of these. (I am talkig about working on the "Problem", not removing it. If you remove the "Problem", the Cause will just create another "Problem". I will talk about it in greater details in later articles)
Keith
2006/01/17
Personal Development: Sharing a Poem: Change
Hi,
看了一首喜歡的詩，大膽地去嘗試翻譯，並與大家分享：
Change
by Bob Tschannen-Moran (c) 2006
The gnawing preoccupation
That something might be wrong
That something has gone wrong
That something will go wrong
Does not inspire great change
Do this, or die
Lose this, or die
Gain this, or die
Achieve this, or die
Measure up to this, or die
The ultimatums of what must be done
And the babble of things gone wrong
Paint the case for change
On a canvass ofFrustration, failure, and fear
It takes courage to step away,
To let the noise die down,
And to listen for that still, small voice.
It takes wisdom to trustThe whisper of life:
"Let there be nothing wrong now."
"Let there be nothing wrong."
"Let there be something right now."
"Let there be something right
With life!"
The whisper roars
And planets turn
Infants grow
And lovers embrace
For life
The canvass bursts with
Aspiration, hope, and change
As the voice
Forever speaking
Proclaims things right
Right enough to dream again
Of things that might yet be
Right enough to design again
A different destiny
Such is the mystery of change!
We welcome the conversation
And befriend the challenge
Of becoming who we are
At our best
We invite the world
To join in the dance
Of becoming all it can be
Leaping and laughing into
New possibility
改變
作者：by Bob Tschannen-Moran (c)2006 年
折磨人的當務之急
好像那些可能出錯的事
好像那一些已經出錯的事
好像那一些將會出錯的事
但這全都不會啟發重要的改變
做，又或死亡
失去，又或死亡
獲得，又或死亡
完成，又或死亡
達成，又或死亡
必須要做的事的最後通牒
以及事情出錯的嘮叨
繪畫出改變的因由
在挫折，失敗，和恐懼
的遊說上
這需勇氣去退在一旁，
去讓噪音靜下，
以及去聆聽那靜靜，微小的聲音。
這更需智慧去信任
生命的低語：
「讓現在沒有甚麼東西出錯。」
「讓沒有甚麼東西出錯。」
「讓現在有些東西正確。」
「讓一些東西正確，為了生命！」
低語咆嘯
行星運轉
嬰兒成長
以及情人擁抱
為了生命
遊說被渴望，希望，和改變撕裂
當聲音
永遠宣布：事情是正確的
這是正確的去再度造夢
事情是有無限可能
這是正確的去再度設計
不同的命運
這是改變的奧義！
我們歡迎對話
以及對做回最好的自己
的挑戰
以友相待
我們邀約全世界
參與成為他們可以達成
的舞蹈
歡樂地躍進
新的可能
Keith
看了一首喜歡的詩，大膽地去嘗試翻譯，並與大家分享：
Change
by Bob Tschannen-Moran (c) 2006
The gnawing preoccupation
That something might be wrong
That something has gone wrong
That something will go wrong
Does not inspire great change
Do this, or die
Lose this, or die
Gain this, or die
Achieve this, or die
Measure up to this, or die
The ultimatums of what must be done
And the babble of things gone wrong
Paint the case for change
On a canvass ofFrustration, failure, and fear
It takes courage to step away,
To let the noise die down,
And to listen for that still, small voice.
It takes wisdom to trustThe whisper of life:
"Let there be nothing wrong now."
"Let there be nothing wrong."
"Let there be something right now."
"Let there be something right
With life!"
The whisper roars
And planets turn
Infants grow
And lovers embrace
For life
The canvass bursts with
Aspiration, hope, and change
As the voice
Forever speaking
Proclaims things right
Right enough to dream again
Of things that might yet be
Right enough to design again
A different destiny
Such is the mystery of change!
We welcome the conversation
And befriend the challenge
Of becoming who we are
At our best
We invite the world
To join in the dance
Of becoming all it can be
Leaping and laughing into
New possibility
改變
作者：by Bob Tschannen-Moran (c)2006 年
折磨人的當務之急
好像那些可能出錯的事
好像那一些已經出錯的事
好像那一些將會出錯的事
但這全都不會啟發重要的改變
做，又或死亡
失去，又或死亡
獲得，又或死亡
完成，又或死亡
達成，又或死亡
必須要做的事的最後通牒
以及事情出錯的嘮叨
繪畫出改變的因由
在挫折，失敗，和恐懼
的遊說上
這需勇氣去退在一旁，
去讓噪音靜下，
以及去聆聽那靜靜，微小的聲音。
這更需智慧去信任
生命的低語：
「讓現在沒有甚麼東西出錯。」
「讓沒有甚麼東西出錯。」
「讓現在有些東西正確。」
「讓一些東西正確，為了生命！」
低語咆嘯
行星運轉
嬰兒成長
以及情人擁抱
為了生命
遊說被渴望，希望，和改變撕裂
當聲音
永遠宣布：事情是正確的
這是正確的去再度造夢
事情是有無限可能
這是正確的去再度設計
不同的命運
這是改變的奧義！
我們歡迎對話
以及對做回最好的自己
的挑戰
以友相待
我們邀約全世界
參與成為他們可以達成
的舞蹈
歡樂地躍進
新的可能
Keith
2006/01/16
Learning from Life #41 - #45
Hi,
Here is my next 5 learning from life:
41. We only care about what we don't have, but forget about what we have.
42. We always give ourselves long term pains by greedy short term gains.
43. Some people thinks. Some people acts. Some people does both.
44. Everything has 2 sides, at least.
45. We can make both ourselves and others unhappy when we cheat ourselves.
Hope you enjoy these 5 learning.
Keith
Here is my next 5 learning from life:
41. We only care about what we don't have, but forget about what we have.
42. We always give ourselves long term pains by greedy short term gains.
43. Some people thinks. Some people acts. Some people does both.
44. Everything has 2 sides, at least.
45. We can make both ourselves and others unhappy when we cheat ourselves.
Hope you enjoy these 5 learning.
Keith
2006/01/13
Personal Development: Personal Cycles - Up & Down
Hi,
Whether you notice it or not, we have cycles.
We go up and down within day, months, years or even decades. These up and down cycles are being affected by so many factors, inside and outside.
You might not be able to make yourself always high in the up-cycles. But we can be sensitive enough to be aware of their existence. Then you can make use of your cycles.
I am right now in my down-cycle. I am in doubt, boring moods. I am not quite productive. I always find myself very tired. I am slow in response. It is the best time for rest and reflection. We are in down-cycles because we used up our energy and there might be something that is pushing us down. Rest and Reflection are the keys to getting up.
The more rest you get during these period, the more energy you can restore. The more insights you get from your reflection, the more clarity about your situation you gain.
Don't push yourself out of the down-cycle. You just make yourself even more "down", like drowning. The harder you push, the deeper you sink!
Keith
Whether you notice it or not, we have cycles.
We go up and down within day, months, years or even decades. These up and down cycles are being affected by so many factors, inside and outside.
You might not be able to make yourself always high in the up-cycles. But we can be sensitive enough to be aware of their existence. Then you can make use of your cycles.
I am right now in my down-cycle. I am in doubt, boring moods. I am not quite productive. I always find myself very tired. I am slow in response. It is the best time for rest and reflection. We are in down-cycles because we used up our energy and there might be something that is pushing us down. Rest and Reflection are the keys to getting up.
The more rest you get during these period, the more energy you can restore. The more insights you get from your reflection, the more clarity about your situation you gain.
Don't push yourself out of the down-cycle. You just make yourself even more "down", like drowning. The harder you push, the deeper you sink!
Keith
2006/01/08
Email Distribution List of the Content of this Website
Hi,
I have just added a new email distribution list for the content of this website.
I post new message every 2 to 3 days. If you want to updated with all the information, simply send a blank email to keithto-subscribe@googlegroups.com to join.
Then you will received an email everytime I post to this site.
Hope you like this new service to you.
Keith
I have just added a new email distribution list for the content of this website.
I post new message every 2 to 3 days. If you want to updated with all the information, simply send a blank email to keithto-subscribe@googlegroups.com to join.
Then you will received an email everytime I post to this site.
Hope you like this new service to you.
Keith
2006/01/04
I was Nearly Drowned!
Hi,
Last week, I went for my holiday in Malaysia. Great sunshine and beautiful beaches!
I went snorkeling. I should wear a life jacket but I didn't. I thought that I am good at swimming and snorkeling. (I am a lifeguard twenty years ago!) A life jacket seemed to be meaningless to me.
There were lots of lovely fishes moving around here and there.
Suddenly, some sea water flushed into my mouth and I was choked. Just like everybody who had been choked in water, I moved my arms and legs fierceful and more water got into my mouth. A clear message flashed into my mind - "I am drowned!"
The second message went into my mind was that I should have worn a life jacket.
The third message then appeared - "I don't want to die and I need to be calm."
This is something easier to say than do. But I managed to do so and then I recalled what I learned during my lifeguard training. Most of the people will not die if they just stop what they are doing when they are drowned. That is, moving their arms and legs. This will just make them sinking faster.
So I stopped moving and started to breath slowly. It took me a minute or so before I became "normal" again. I saved my own life.
Lessons Learned:
1. Accident will happen. It will happen to those who do not think it will happen to them.
2. Sometimes it is what you are doing kills you. Stop doing what you are doing if it doesn't work.
3. Ask yourself what you really need. In my case, I need air, so I breath.
These are something too simple, but they saved my life.
Keith
Last week, I went for my holiday in Malaysia. Great sunshine and beautiful beaches!
I went snorkeling. I should wear a life jacket but I didn't. I thought that I am good at swimming and snorkeling. (I am a lifeguard twenty years ago!) A life jacket seemed to be meaningless to me.
There were lots of lovely fishes moving around here and there.
Suddenly, some sea water flushed into my mouth and I was choked. Just like everybody who had been choked in water, I moved my arms and legs fierceful and more water got into my mouth. A clear message flashed into my mind - "I am drowned!"
The second message went into my mind was that I should have worn a life jacket.
The third message then appeared - "I don't want to die and I need to be calm."
This is something easier to say than do. But I managed to do so and then I recalled what I learned during my lifeguard training. Most of the people will not die if they just stop what they are doing when they are drowned. That is, moving their arms and legs. This will just make them sinking faster.
So I stopped moving and started to breath slowly. It took me a minute or so before I became "normal" again. I saved my own life.
Lessons Learned:
1. Accident will happen. It will happen to those who do not think it will happen to them.
2. Sometimes it is what you are doing kills you. Stop doing what you are doing if it doesn't work.
3. Ask yourself what you really need. In my case, I need air, so I breath.
These are something too simple, but they saved my life.
Keith
2006/01/01
Learning from Life #36 - #40
Hi,
Another 5 of my learning from life:
36. Controlling oneself is easier than controlling others.
37. Work and Play can be done at the same time.
38. If you really want to help others, fulfill their needs, not yours!
39. To React is easier than to Respond.
40. Care for others, but live your own life.
Keith
Another 5 of my learning from life:
36. Controlling oneself is easier than controlling others.
37. Work and Play can be done at the same time.
38. If you really want to help others, fulfill their needs, not yours!
39. To React is easier than to Respond.
40. Care for others, but live your own life.
Keith
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